


The Food Network Presents the Ackles Live on Stage

by Azure_K_Mello



Series: The Food Network Presents… [8]
Category: CW Network RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-24
Updated: 2013-05-24
Packaged: 2017-12-12 19:32:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 37,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/815198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azure_K_Mello/pseuds/Azure_K_Mello
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: Jensen and Jamie are on tour; we meet Misha Collins; Annie’s über pregnant.  </p><p>Words: 37,040</p><p>Bunny care of: mediaville found here: http://mediaville.livejournal.com/12649.html</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Food Network Presents the Ackles Live on Stage

He woke up and Jared was saying, “It’s five thirty if you want coffee you should get up.” Jensen nodded slowly and sat up. He pulled on sweats and a tee-shirt and stumbled out to the kitchen wearing his glasses. 

His parents were already up and fully dressed, “Morn’in,” he muttered as he got coffee. He chugged the coffee and went to brush his teeth. He put in his contacts, washed his face fixed his hair. He made sure everything was packed including Jamie’s tee-shirts that needed to be washed, he packed his toiletries and Jamie’s. Then it was a waiting game. He didn’t want to get dressed so he packed his shoes and pulled on his flip flops. Back in the kitchen he said, “Hey, I’m more awake now. Is everyone excited?”

“Yes,” said his mom. “Your tour manager said that your bus is amazing.”

Jensen nodded, “It has a photo wrap, one of the ones Meg took. We can see out but people can’t see in. It has a bathtub. Should be cool.”

But he really wasn’t prepared for what pulled up. He walked to the front door when he heard it pulling up. His dad came with him, he whistled low and said, “That’s definitely cool, Jen.”

It was a giant double-decker bus with a huge, huge photo of them on the sides with the words “Jensen and Jamie ACKLES” written in huge letters. It was a nice picture of Jensen and Jamie laughing and Jensen had Jamie in a loose hug. “Whoa,” said Jensen. “That’s just, whoa. Momma, Jared, come here you’ve got to see this.” 

Jared and his mom came and Jared said, “That’s a lot of bus.”

“Seriously,” said Jensen. The tour manager, Bobby Singer, pulled up behind the bus and got out. Jensen opened the door and called, “Is that seriously our bus?” 

Bobby smiled, “Yep.”

“Coffee?” asked Jensen. 

The man smiled, “That would be great.” 

As he came in Jensen said, “Not to look a gift horse in the mouth-”

“But why is the bus so huge?” Bobby finished. 

“Exactly,” said Jensen then he said, “Sorry, we don’t have any milk, I’ve thrown away all the perishables.” 

“Black would be great. So the bus.” Everyone sat down and he took a sip of his coffee. “I heard you like people to be blunt and straight with you?”

“Yes please,” said Jensen.

“It’s great advertising as it’s a huge billboard, your rider was very reasonable and we still had budget money and most importantly this is a big tour for us.” He took another sip. “It’s your first tour in a while and its Jamie’s first ever. We want this to be smooth and perfect so that when your label asks you about arrangements for your next tour you say you want us. We’re making a lot of money on this and we would like to do business with you in the future. So you have three good size bedrooms each with satellite TV. There’s a huge plasma TV in a very comfortable lounge with a DVD player and a Wii downstairs. And there is a karaoke machine and desk area in the upstairs lounge. There are two bathrooms, one with a tub and a kitchen that is stocked with snacks the doctor has approved.”

“Fantastic.” Jensen began to wash up the coffee cups and said, “I feel like I’m forgetting something.”

“You always say that before starting the tour,” said his mom. 

“I know, Momma, I know,” Jensen sighed. “I’m packed. I’m good.” Bobby handed Jensen his now empty mug. Jensen quickly washed it up and said, “Let’s get going.” They got all the luggage into the bus. 

Bobby said, “Your instruments are in the usual luggage hold, it is climate controlled.” 

“Awesome,” said Jensen. “It makes me feel better that they’re so close.” He brought their guitars and the electric keyboard and everything else they would need for six weeks. The dogs were excited and barking running around in the downstairs lounge part and Jensen introduced himself to the driver, Clif. 

Jensen took Jamie’s books, toys, CDs and CD player out of his room quietly. He kept handing things off to Jared to put on the bus. When he’d carried out the CD player Bobby said, “Every bedroom has a great sound system, Jensen. You don’t need that.” 

Jensen smiled, “I’m sure that’s true. But touring is stressful for kids; even though you’re having fun it still takes a lot out of you. Jamie’s bedtime routine is set: brush teeth, put on PJs, get into bed with his lion, talk to me and listen to one of the same twenty CDs on this boom box. It’s awesome that there are personal sound systems in each room but I want to keep his bedtime ritual normal, known, boring, relaxing and safe.” 

The last thing Jensen took was Jamie, still sleeping and cuddling with his lion. He scooped up his baby with his lion and carried him out. His dad locked the door behind them all and Jensen went to the tour bus. Jared hushed the dogs as Jensen came on board. “Bedrooms?” Jensen asked. 

“We’re taking the two upstairs; your parents are down here. The one at the back of the bus is best for Jamie,” Jared whispered. 

“Thanks.” Jensen carried him up the stairs and through the smaller lounge to the back bedroom which was nice, it had curtains and floor space and a comfortable bed. The shelves all had bars around them so that things couldn’t fall off. Jared had set up Jamie’s CD player on one of them and had a CD already playing softly. Jensen tucked Jamie in and did up the lee cloth at the foot of the bed; it made sort of made a wall so that Jamie couldn’t fall out. Jamie woke up a little and looked confused. “We’re on the bus, baby, I’m strapping you in. Go back to sleep.” Jamie pulled his lion close and closed his eyes. 

Jensen went downstairs just as they started moving. The dogs were barking excitedly and Jared said, “Sit and calm down.” They obeyed him. “Good, babies.” The downstairs lounge was huge and Clif had shut a door between them and him made it was to give them privacy or maybe it was for safety but it made it feel like a real room as opposed to part of a bus. The kitchen area was next to it and Jensen saw the fridge, coffee maker, toaster and microwave. 

Shaking his head Jensen said, “I know it’s really early in the morning for dogs barking. But look around, they have every right to be freaking out.” Jared smiled at him as Jensen sank into the green leather couch next to him. Upstairs everything was blue and purple downstairs everything was green and black. “This is the coolest bus I have ever been on! It’s so flashy and show business. Look at this place!” 

His dad smiled at him, the indulgent smile that Jensen recognized as the one he himself gave Jamie a lot, “It’s very cool, Jen. We’re very excited. We’re going back to bed.” 

Jared kissed his cheek, “It’s a really cool bus but everyone had a late night and it will still be cool in a couple of hours. Let’s go up to bed. Okay?” Jensen nodded, because yeah he was tired. They left the dogs downstairs and they went up to bed. Their room was a little larger for the larger bed. Jensen kicked off his flip-flops and got back into bed. He pulled Jared down and Jared said, “This is super comfy.” 

“Uh-huh,” agreed Jensen. Jared did up the safety lee cloth and curled up around Jensen.

~~~

Jared woke up hearing Jamie calling, “Daddy? Daddy? Where are you?” Jamie sounded panicky. He quickly maneuvered himself over the lee cloth and went to Jamie’s room.

Jared couldn’t see him because his lee cloth was three feet high. “Hey, baby,” said Jared. He peeked over the top and saw Jamie who looked as freaked out as he sounded, “You okay?”

“I can’t figure out how to get out and I got scared.” 

He pointed to the plastic clips and hooked the cloth to the sides. “Squeeze the sides in and then pull them out.” He did one side while Jamie did the other. “Did you sleep okay?” 

“Yeah is this our bus?”

“Yes, it’s really cool.” Jared paused as he reached for the CD player and said, “May I turn off your music?” 

Jamie nodded, “I feel gross. Can I brush my teeth?” 

“Sure,” Jared brought him to the small bathroom. While Jensen had been bringing things in Jared had set out the basics so their tooth brushes, combs, wash clothes, his moisturizer and Jensen’s contact stuff were already set out. 

Jamie sighed when he saw the shower. “No tub.”

“Downstairs there’s a bathtub,” said Jared loading their toothbrushes and handing Jamie his.

“Downstairs?” asked Jamie around the plastic as he brushed.

“We’re upstairs,” said Jared, then brushed his teeth well. He washed Jamie’s face and brushed his hair and said, “This is a double-decker.” 

“No way,” said Jamie.

“Yes way,” said Jared. “Want to get dressed or see downstairs?” 

“I want a tour,” said Jamie. 

Jared smiled, “Okay well, this is the upstairs bathroom.” He led Jamie out. “This is small lounge with a karaoke system and desk area.” He pointed, “That’s Daddy and my room.” He thought for a second and then Jamie back to his room. There was a line of buttons for the intercom system and he pointed, “This one that says MASTER is for Daddy and me. When you want to cuddle in the morning you can push that and one of us will come get you so you don’t have to walk through the bus by yourself when it’s moving. Or you can call us in the night if you have to pee or anything and you need help ‘cause we’re moving. It’s hard to balance when you’re half asleep.”

“Thanks.” 

Jared led him to the stairs which had a guard in front of them; he opened the latch and said, “I’ll go first so if you fall you fall on me.” He kept Jamie close behind him. Downstairs he pointed again, “That’s Grandma and Grandpa’s room.” He opened a side door, “Here’s the bathroom with the bath. And this,” he waved his arms, “is our kitchen and real lounge.” Then he knocked on the door that led to the driver’s compartment. 

“Come in,” said Clif. 

“Hi, Clif, this is Jamie.”

“Hi, Jamie,” said Clif. 

Jared smiled, “I’m about to cook Jamie some breakfast would you like anything?”

The man laughed, “I’m supposed to be the driver cum butler.”

“That’s stupid,” said Jared, thinking of the rule about Ashley the seat filler not being allowed to talk to them at the Oscars. Meeting real famous people had made him see how much of a fake celebrity he really was. Because real famous people were treated like they were better than everyone else and that was just not true. Jensen and Jamie were international sensations but they were still just Jensen and Jamie. “You’re doing all the important driving. You sure you don’t want breakfast?” 

“I’m fine thanks.”

“Okay, in about an hour or an hour and a half would you mind pulling into a rest stop to let the dogs answer nature’s call?” 

“Absolutely. Do we need to do that now?” 

“No, they’re fine. But in about an hour they’ll want to go.”

“Okay,” Clif nodded. “Would you please shut the door? It’s a safety thing.” 

“Cool,” said Jared and shut the door behind them. “Now, I’m going to try to cook you a breakfast with a microwave, baby.” There was lot of microwavable precooked things but it was a big day and Jared wanted to make something even if it was simple. “French toast with a fruit compote sound good?”

“Can you do that in a microwave?” asked Jamie. 

“Easy-peasy,” said Jared. He’d stocked the kitchen on top of what the doctor had provided. For one thing he’d brought his spice rack because a kitchen isn’t really a kitchen without one. He turned on the TV for Jamie, going to the Food Network where Nigella Kitchen was on. “Good?” Jamie nodded. 

Jared turned on the coffee maker and started on breakfast. He cut up peaches, bananas, and oranges, he poured orange juice into a bowl with sugar, added the fruit and microwaved the whole thing for six minutes, stopping to stir it every once in a while. He set it aside to cool while he made the French toast. He put milk, eggs, sugar and vanilla in a shallow bowl and dipped the bread in, letting it get really wet because the only way to make good microwaved French toast was to make sure it was very wet to begin with. He microwaved each slice for a minute on each side. Once he’d finished each one he dusted them with cinnamon and sugar. He put two on a plate with a large amount of the compote and said, “Come over here. We don’t want to spill on the carpet.” 

Jamie sat in the booth next to the counter smiled at his first bite, “This tastes real.”

Jared laughed, “That’s the biggest compliment you can give a microwave meal.” 

Jensen came down saying, “Something smells awesome.” 

“Give me four minutes and you can eat something awesome,” said Jared. 

Sitting down next to Jamie Jensen said, “What do you think of our bus?”

“It’s so cool,” said Jamie. “And I like that Jared can cook in a microwave and that Rachel Ray is going to be on soon. It feels like a real Sunday.”

Jensen smiled, “Good, that’s what it should feel like. It’s nice to have our own personal chef who we get to cuddle with, isn’t it?” 

Jamie nodded around his fork. Jensen and he watched as Rachel Ray started and Jared put a plate in front of Jensen, “This is a playful take on everyone’s favorite breakfast. Its compote is childish in its simplicity yet sophisticated on the palate.” 

“Jay, you’re not going on Iron Chef until September,” said Jensen.

Jared nodded, “I figured that I needed to start practicing my patter now.” 

Jensen’s parents came and Jared fixed them breakfast too before he ate his own. It was comfortable. Like Jamie, he felt it was a rather normal morning. When they stopped to let the dogs do their business and have a run around. Jamie saw the outside of the bus and was suitably impressed. Of course, “suitably impressed” for a seven year old meant jumping up and down and shouting, “Look at that picture! Look how huge our faces are!” Bobby came up to ask them if they were liking the bus and brought them a lunch of sandwiches and salad. He told them that they would get to Albuquerque at about four and would rehearse for the show before going on for the concert. They thanked him and got back on the road. 

Jamie and Jensen went upstairs to play music early in the afternoon after lunch while Jared read with Jensen parents downstairs. It was nice to hear them, both giggling, for once the cookbook was less interesting than what he was hearing. Then suddenly the music stopped and he heard Jensen say, “Do that again?” Then it started again, Jamie on the key board. It was pretty and moving and Jared stopped pretending to read and just listened for about fifteen minutes. As Jamie finished Jensen said, “Baby, that’s really not Elgar’s Cello Concerto on the piano.” 

“But that’s what it is,” said Jamie. 

“No, baby, that’s new, that’s all yours.”

“But I was listening to Elgar when I wrote it. It’s in d major.”

“Baby, it’s a new song. You wrote a concerto! Baby, wow! Are you proud of yourself?” 

“Are you sure it’s mine? It’s in d major.” 

“I’m positive! Elgar doesn’t own d major. You wrote a concerto all by yourself. When did you do this?” 

“Been working on it for a couple of months. But is it a real concerto? It’s only for strings.”

“That doesn’t matter it’s a concerto, I promise.”

“Do you really like it or are you being nice?” Jamie sounded nervous. 

Jared could hear the smile in Jensen’s voice when he said, “I love it, baby. Do you want to go play it for Grandma, Grandpa and Jared?”

“Are you sure it’s good enough?” 

“Positive. It’s beautiful. You wrote sheet music for instruments you don’t even play. It’s amazing. Here let me bring this down. Be right back.” Jensen came down the stairs carrying the key board and his guitar. “Have you guys been listening? Jamie wrote a concerto!” 

Jared said, “I’m sure that’s awesome. But what’s a concerto?” 

Jensen, seemingly high off the thrill, didn’t answer. He ran back up the stairs. It was Donna who answered. “It’s a long musical piece for a soloist and an orchestra in three movements.” 

He came down with Jamie and tons of sheet music. “You guys have to hear this!” said Jensen.

They sat down on the ground Jamie pushed all the sheet music away from him. “It just confuses you when you know the music.” 

“Which I don’t,” Jensen spread out the sheets in front of him. Jared saw that at the top of sheet music had Jamie’s childish scrawl over the top with the word guitar. “So keep in mind that there is a lot more to this than what we can do. Once we’re done I’ll program it into the computer and we can hear it like that.” Looking at Jamie he said, “Ready, baby?” Jamie nodded and began playing, fast and complicated. After about five minutes Jensen joined in on his guitar and it became slower and more emotional than the first bit. After a long period of time Jensen stopped playing and Jamie slid back into a fast beat which came to a high point and then tapered off to a finish. 

The Ackles sat stunned but Jared was freaking out and cheering. His watch told him that twenty five minutes had passed and Jared couldn’t stop cheering. Jensen looked weepy and Jamie was beaming, clearly proud of his work. Jensen hugged him close and said, “That is so gorgeous. You should be so proud of yourself.” Standing he said, “I’m going to go get the laptop.” He jogged up the stairs and came back. Jamie was still tapping at the keys. 

As Jensen came down Jamie said, “Daddy, can I watch TV?” 

“Ask your grandparents and Jared, they were here first.” 

Turning to them Jamie said, “May I watch The Best Thing I Ever Ate?” Everyone nodded and Jared switched the TV on to the Food Network for Jamie. 

Jensen spent a long time typing, “I’m going to send this to my agent to get this officially copyrighted. What do you want to call it?”

“A Summer Concerto in D Major,” said Jamie. 

“Nice,” said Jensen. He sighed, “Okay, he has the sheet music and this.” He smiled, “Is everyone ready?” everyone nodded and Jensen said, “Baby, mute the TV.” Jamie did as he was told and Jensen hit play. “I have a program on here that emulates instruments. It’s a bit rough but here we go.” 

And the song started but it wasn’t as good as when Jamie played it. But when it started with the orchestra Jared’s breath caught because Jamie had written it. Jamie came and sat in his lap and Jared cuddled him close, “It’s beautiful, baby. I don’t know anything about music but it’s beautiful. How did you do this when you can’t play a lot of the instruments?” 

“I don’t know how to play them but I know what they sound like, I can’t do it yet but I know what they are.”

Jared whispered, “You’re amazing.” Jamie smiled and cuddled into him. 

As it finished Jensen said, “And that was A Summer Concerto in D Major by James David Freaking Ackles!” Everyone cheered. Jamie was grinning, too young for faking modesty in the face of a huge accomplishment. Jensen gave him a high five and then his cell phone rang. Looking at the screen he saw Mark Sheppard’s name. “Oh! It’s our agent.” He answered it, “Mark! You’re on speakerphone. What do you think?” 

“It’s great!” said the English voice. “I’ve already spoken to your tour manager you’re going to be pulled over in a moment. All the paperwork is already being processed to get it registered.” 

The bus stopped, “Okay, manager’s here. I’ll call you back.” 

Bobby got onto the bus and said, “I just spoke to your agent and called your label. I’m here to make you an offer which you should feel free to refuse.” Jensen laughed at that. “One more tour date after your last concert. One show for all of your classical music. We will double your fee for the night. We can’t add a twenty-five minute song to a pop concert but we can add one show that’s wholly classical.”

Jensen nodded, “Let us think about it?”

“Of course,” said Bobby, “think it over, talk about it, pray on it.” 

Jared saw Jensen’s eyes go cold, “Give us a night. We’ll let you know tomorrow.” 

The man must have seen the way Jensen reacted to that and repeated, “Of course.” 

He left quickly and they started moving again. Jensen said, “Baby, you should have a bath before we get there.” 

“Can we talk about the concert?” asked Jamie. 

“Sure, Jay, where did you put the towels?” 

“Jamie’s Lazy Town towel and shampoo are already in the bathroom with his dinosaurs,” said Jared. 

Jamie didn’t actually need help bathing any more but Jensen would sit with him and Jamie still needed help with his hair. Jensen was always careful with Jamie and there were so many horror stories about kids drowning that Jensen sat with him. He heard Jensen through the door. Jamie was saying that they should do the concert and Jensen was calmly that it would be a big deal and asking if he was sure. Jamie was asking if he could play his concerto and Jensen was saying that of course he could but was asking if he really wanted to do it. 

Jensen father sat next to Jared, “Jensen used to be very religious. We’re Southern Baptists. We left our church when our pastor told us that Jensen was damned. But we’re still Southern Baptists. Jensen was religious right up until Tricia’s death. I tried to talk to him afterwards, told him that God has a plan. He told me to go fuck myself. It’s the only time he’s ever sworn at me.” 

Jared shrugged, “She was twenty-six and she left him with their four year old who has debilitating allergies. It was sudden, unexpected and faultless. If God planed that, well… what kind of a God is He, Alan? Why should he pray on anything? God hasn’t helped him this far. You help him, your family. He’ll talk to Jamie, and us and Annie then he’ll make his decision. Praying won’t be a part of it but he’ll make a good decision. You know that.”

Alan nodded, “Of course I do. He’s a good man, I’m very proud of who he is.” 

“Cool, good,” he fell silent. “I’m Roman Catholic… but I mean, why should he pray on anything?” 

Alan nodded but said nothing. Jensen came out of the bathroom carrying Jamie who was wrapped in a towel, “I’ll carry you upstairs.” Jamie hugged him around the neck and Jensen carried him away saying, “What do you want to wear, baby?” 

Jared went back to reading his cookbook, tweaking things in the margin. Jamie came down in a tee-shirt that had “Hard Rock” on the front and “Rocks Hard” on the back and dark red cords with his sneakers. “So what do you boys think of having an extra show?” asked Jared. 

“I want to!” said Jamie, “We’re been playing all pop and that’s cool but I’m a classics boy! I wrote a concerto, Daddy.” 

Jensen nodded, “I know, baby. But it adds a whole day. It takes another day.” 

“But it would just be playing, no thinking, no work, just play in front of people. Daddy, please, I want you.” 

“Baby, are you sure?” Jamie nodded emphatically. “Okay, if you feel that way tonight after the show we’ll do it. Okay?”

“Okay,” agreed Jamie. He came to Jared and said, “Can I read the cookbook with you?” 

Jared said, “Sure.” He spread the book out between them. 

Jamie said, “Why are some notes in black and some in red?” 

“Red are the notes that would make the recipe awesome and something to try out for the restaurant, black are notes for ways to cook it at home for you and Daddy. Like this shrimp one, for the restaurant it would need to be way sweeter and way spicier and for home beef would stand up really well to the flavors it supports, pork would just be a sham of a meat for the recipe and forget about tofu.”

“Do you read recipes like they’re work?”

“Well, it’s like you listening to Elgar, I’m studying but it’s awesome studying.” 

“But how do you know it will be good before you try it?” 

“How do you write music for interments you don’t play? It’s the same thing. I know the basics, so I get how it will work.” 

“Are you sad that you’re away from your kitchen for six weeks?” asked Jamie.

“I’m sad my culinary excellence is limited to the microwave because I love cooking for family more than cooking for strangers. I’m happier in a bus with a microwave and you than I could be anywhere else. I heard your concerto before it was even typed up! That’s way cooler than being in my kitchen. And Paris will be at two of the concerts in LA. I get to hear my boys and see my friend! We’re going to hang out with Katie and Suri and all our LA friends. Besides, how many chefs get to go on a cool tour bus and see tons of awesome concerts?” 

Jamie nodded and then said, “Are you done with this page?” 

Turning the page Jared put an arm around Jamie so that they could share the book between them. He wrote notes in the margins and Jamie read the recipes with wide eyes. It was a nice quiet, Jensen was looking over paperwork for the tour sitting on Jared’s other side. Every once in a while Jared or Jamie would ask the other if they were ready to turn the page. 

His cell phone started to play Cheeseburger in Paradise which was his ring tone for email. He opened it and read it silently to himself, “To my favorite ex-minion.” He could feel his smile. “So, I’m visiting my parents, and I needed to get away for a while. I decided to go drink instead of listening to my mom ask me if I’ve met a nice boy to settle down with for the billionth time. So, I see the huge sign outside the casino stating that tonight the Sandia is hosting Jensen and Jamie Ackles. I figure: Jared loves them, he lives with them and he’s probably with them. Are you with them? Maybe not, your sister-in-law is pregnant with your baby so maybe you’re with her. That is so awesome, I’m pumped for you: you’re gonna be a daddy. But we haven’t spoken in over a month so I don’t know. Dude, I wish I had tickets to the show; I had a thing for Jensen back in high school. So, I’m sure you’re super busy, but I would love to see you if you’re with them. Any chance? Maybe a drink or just to hug you and wish Jensen and Jamie good luck (break a leg; Scottish play ect.)? Also Paris said she was seeing you in LA soon so maybe I’ll see you then because I’m going out to dinner with her. I haven’t seen you in over a year. Anyway, love (in a non-creepy non-acrimonious ex-boyfriend kind of a way), Your Amiable Overlord.” 

Jensen said, “Why are you smiling? Only crazy people smile at nothing.” Jared handed him his cell phone. Jensen read it and said, “Who is this?” 

“Misha.” 

“Oh, awesome.” Jensen nodded, “So, you can hang out while we do our rehearsal, he can come hang out at craft services for dinner and then watch backstage.” He smiled at Jamie and said, “We get to meet Jared ex-boyfriend. Cool, right?” 

“Is he nice?” asked Jamie. 

“Very,” said Jared. “He had a plan to become the overlord of us all through random acts of kindness. He thought if he was awesome enough the UN would take a vote and make him overlord.” 

“What sort of stuff did he do?” asked Jamie. 

“Well one time his parents sent him money around finals time, two hundred bucks. We went to a whole bunch of dollar shops and spent it all on umbrellas. We waited until it was a terrible, rainy day—the day before our wine final—and we handed them out to all sorts of strangers, guys in suits, women with kids, homeless people. It was Misha, me, Mike, Chad, Elisha and Paris. We handed out crayons and paper to kids in the park one day. He ran through the library throwing candy, wearing nothing but Superman briefs, a mask and gold winged shoes just to make people laugh. Little fun things. Nowadays his restaurant in France is only open to the public four days a week. One night it’s closed and two nights it’s a soup kitchen. He’s a fun guy, you’ll like him.” Jared emailed him back filling him in on the plan. 

When they got to Albuquerque Jamie asked, “How many people tonight?”

“Four thousand. It’s an amphitheater. We’ll be out under the stars playing for four thousand people. How exciting is that? Then we come here, go to bed and when we wake up we’ll be in Phoenix. And we’re going to go to this really cool archeology site that’s all interactive about the hohokam empire it sounds really fun.” 

“Cool,” agreed Jamie. 

They went in and did a quick run through. Jared had asked Jensen why they had such short rehearsals Jensen had laughed and said that the orchestra rehearsed for hour and hours but that he and Jamie were excused as they knew what they needed to do and because Jamie was so young. So now they just discussed the playlist, cues, the warm-up band and were familiarized with the venue’s piano because it was the one instrument that they hadn’t brought from home. 

Meanwhile Jared went down to the bar to find Misha who was drinking something bright pink and icy. “Meesh,” He smiled as he sat down next to the man, Misha hugged him, “it is so good to see you.” 

“You too, favorite ex-minion.” 

“My boys are practicing and Jen’s parents are taking a walk around the casino. It really is good to see you. You look great.” He ordered a beer.

“You look happy. My parents taped that barbeque thing, you look young again, like college!Jared.” 

Jared just laughed and ordered a beer. “So before I let you anywhere near Jamie what have you eaten recently?” 

Misha smiled, “Well once I got your text I went home to my parents showered, brushed my teeth and put on clean clothes. This bar is nut free and this pink thing isn’t strawberries. We’re good. Chefs are way better at allergen awareness than most people.”

“How’s the restaurant?”

“Great, awesome… going bust, y’know.”

“What?”

“Yeah… no, we’re fine. I’ve had to scale back; we only have four homeless nights a month instead of eight. That makes me sad but we’ve garnered a lot of attention so an awful lot of restaurants are donating to shelters now. We’ll be okay. How’s JT’s?”

“It’s fine, normal. How are your random acts?” 

“I ran three back to back marathons for charity, less random act, more ‘Holy shit why did I think I could run this much in a week?’” Jared laughed. “I raised a lot of money for orphanages but my balls were chaffed for like a month.” Jared laughed again. “How’s the tour?”

“The boys did two shows in Texas; this is our first day on the bus. Jamie’s freaking out he loves every minute and the bus is awesome… I always feel a little guilty talking to you about stuff like this because you’re off doing good works everywhere and we have a double-decker bus.”

Misha made a dismissive motion, “Dude, that’s so stupid. I do some charity stuff most of the time I’m just being normal. I dated this guy who was bi and I had a threesome with a girl, I didn’t like it. She said I was inattentive and I was like, ‘Honey, it’s bad enough I have breasts in my bed: I’m not touching them.’ And then I was in a motorcycle accident, that was scary and stupid, then I had sex with my doctor which apparently is against the rules or something. Then another doctor found out we were together so he broke up with me, I cried and ate a lot then I spray painted his car, including the windows. Oh! I have a bacon flavored ice cream on my menu.”

“Is it dessert?”

“Yeah, it’s really good. It only went on the menu last week. I’ll email you the recipe when I go home.” 

“Thanks. If I put it on the menu I’ll call it Misha’s Bacon Ice Cream.” 

“Your spiced beignets are on my menu called Jared’s Spiced Beignets and I have a plate that’s a slice of French meatloaf and a slice of yours that’s got your name on it too.”

“Thanks. Are you going to Texas?” 

“Yeah, to see Chad and Mike and Elisha.”

“Go to JT’s and try Elisha’s Bourbon Pecan Pork Loin, you will love it or Paris’ Lobster Cakes. They’re both amazing.”

“Thanks for the tip.”

“Your parents good?”

“You know them, ‘Be free, follow your dreams, we’ll give you more money than you could ever need. You can do all your altruistic stuff all you need to do is meet a nice boy and settle down. We won’t even be upset if he’s French.’ Like that’ll happen, like I want a bribe to do what I want to do. I want to meet a nice garçon I just haven’t.”

“Meech, do you need money?” 

“I mean, I’m making enough, it’s just that I could use more, we’ll see.”

“Meech, I have money. No bribery, a gift or a loan whatever you need.” 

“No, I like doing charity not taking it. The restaurant is fine it’s just the charity.” 

Jared nodded, “Okay, better idea. Come September tenth I start filming my show. I get seventy grand an episode. I can get you ten grand a pop. We do three or four in a week. Fly in for a couple of weeks make a lot of money. You’ll be good at it, bouncy and a little crazy, we accost people and cook for them. You can bring the French angle. You can stay with Elisha, it would be weird to stay with me because I’m kind of married now.”

“Are you serious, Jay? You’d do that?” 

“Yes, of course I would. If it helps. I’ll talk to Sandy get it cleared.” 

“Jay, that would be huge, man. Thank you. I’d love to.” 

Jensen and Jamie came through the lobby, “There are my boys.” He waved and Jensen saw them making a beeline to them. As they came over he said, “How was practice?” 

“Fun,” said Jamie. “We’re going to do The Sunshine Comes and then Darkness Falls as our encore. How cool is that? Just for the names alone it’s cool.”

“Very,” agreed Jared. One was off Jamie’s CD and the other was an old one by Jensen. “Misha, these are my guys Jensen and Jamie. Jen and Jamie, this is my ex-boyfriend Misha.” 

“You guys are awesome. I love your CDs.” Misha stood and hugged them both. Jensen looked stunned and Jared rolled his eyes, the universal sign for “what can you do?” Jensen smiled at him. 

“We have about an hour before show time,” said Jensen. “Craft services? We can grab a bite to eat and then you can come backstage and watch the show.” 

“Awesome!” Misha jumped up. “I wanted to be your groupie when I was in high school.” Jared killed his beer as Jensen laughed. “Seriously. I know it must have sucked when you got outed. But I was pretty excited. I thought I had a chance.” Jensen laughed again. 

“Never went for a groupie,” said Jensen as they walked out. 

“What’s a groupie?” asked Jamie.

“It’s a fan who is borderline obsessive and seeks emotional and physical intimacy with a celebrity by following them around,” said Jensen. “Don’t ever go for them. It’s not what a gentleman does.” 

With a nod Jamie said, “Okay, Daddy.” 

They headed over to craft and saw Jensen’s parents and introduced Misha. They had a really good beef stir-fry with tons of fresh vegetable and Jamie safe pasta. There were fruit smoothies and a chocolate mousse thing for dessert. There was a camera crew but they didn’t come over to talk to them, just filmed a sort of overview, Jared assumed that there would be interviews later in the tour. Then it was time for makeup and for Jensen to put on his tux. He went with Jensen to change and said, “Are you going to be pissed if I say that I offered Misha a job?” 

“Why would I be pissed? He’s your friend. I thought he lived in France?”

“He does. His money is really tight. He doesn’t want a loan or a hand out. I told him he should come do a few weeks of my show. He could make a ten thousand a pop.”

“Your show isn’t doing very well. With last year’s rating… they aren’t going to give a guest star ten thousand dollars an episode.”

“I know, I take a pay cut. Sandy covers for me.”

“So it’s a hand out that he is unaware of.” 

“Maybe it will help the ratings, Jen, it could revamp it. This is the last season after this it will just be specials. He’s a good-looking guy and he’s fun. He could draw some people in who would stick around once he’s gone. It’s not like I need money. I’m worth millions and millions of dollars, I’ve done one hundred and ten episodes of my show, I own a very lucrative restaurant and I have several lines of cookware. What’s eighty or a hundred thousand dollars more? To him it’ll save his business and charities.”

Jensen smiled, “I love you, Jared, you’re a wonderful man.” He kissed Jared gently. “You’re my wonderful man. He needs help and you can help.” Jared felt squishy inside and felt himself smiling. “The twins are due during the shooting schedule.”

“Sandy said we can be flexible.”

“No, what I’m saying is he could take over for a little while. Make the whole seventy and give you some time.” Jared kissed him, this time more deeply. “Glad you approve. I have to get my makeup done.” He opened the door and got into the makeup chair. Jamie was already done and standing at the side of the stage, watching the opening act. The girl started to do his face. “Hey, Misha,” he waved Misha over. “Jay was just saying how you’re going to be on the show.”

“Yeah, cool, awesome I’m really excited.”

“So, Jared’s been thinking about paternity leave. What would you feel about maybe taking over for a little while? You could learn the show with him and then deal with it for a little while? If you can take the time off from the restaurant?” 

“Dude,” Misha smiled, it was bright and sunny. “That would be awesome! I’ve always wanted to be on TV.”

“So, Jared was telling me about your charity. Random Acts? How’s that going?”

“It’s okay,” he paused, clearly it wasn’t. “We’ve been doing little things recently. Lightly used shoe donations, blanket collections, painting murals in a children’s wing.”

“Does Random Acts take donations from overseas?” 

“Yes, we do. Why?”

“I like two kinds of charities: ones for kids and ones for food. I like little ones big ones can be corrupt. I hate the Red Cross, I think they’re crooks. Jared tells me you’re a good guy you seem really nice. I trust you not to misappropriate funds and to do cool things. You’re accredited, right?” The girl finished his makeup, “Thanks, hon.” 

“Yeah, we’re a fully licensed non-profit organization. You can donate on the website.” 

“Great.” Jensen and Jamie were announced, “Please excuse me.” 

As he walked out to the stage Misha said, “He’s nice.” 

“I’m partial,” Jared agreed. They started to play and Jared and Misha went closer to the stage to watch it. 

“Jesus, they’re great,” said Misha. 

“Yep,” Jared sank into the music, enjoying watching his boys have so much fun. It made him happy deep inside. As they finished their first set they came to them. Jamie was sweaty and Jared held out the tee-shirts. “Play Your Heart Out, a Kane tee or the Rock God in Disguise one?” 

“Rock God in Disguise,” said Jamie pulling off the Hard Rock Rocks Hard shirt and gently dabbing his face with it. The Rock God in Disguise was a tee-shirt Chad had made him. Underneath the legend there was a piano with wings wearing a pair of glasses with a fake nose and a mustache. 

A guy from craft came over with fruit salad, a few bottles of water and little rolled up thin ham and cheese on toothpicks Jamie dove into the food as Misha gushed at them. The makeup girl came over and fixed Jensen’s hair and Jamie’s makeup. “Jamie, how are you feeling?” asked Jared. 

“I love being outside it’s cooler than usual and I really like the crowd. People have lighters. It’s fun. I slept so much on the tour bus that I’m not at all tired. It’s really fun out there.” Smiling Jared ate a couple of the ham rolls, they were good. Then Jamie said, “I hit a bum note on Texan Hearts.” 

Jensen shook his head, “No one noticed, it was only infinitesimally off. I’m the only one who knows enough to know that it wasn’t what you wanted. I promise no one knows.” 

Studying him Jamie said, “Are you being nice?”

“Jared you hang on every note,” said Jensen. “Was Jamie off?”

“No, where? I didn’t hear it.” Jared was telling the truth. “You’re doing great, no lie.” 

“Okay,” said Jamie. “I believe you.” He drank water until it was time to go back out. 

“It hasn’t gone to his head,” said Misha. “It would totally go to my head I wouldn’t be jokingly wearing a rock god tee-shirt I’d be introducing myself as one.” 

Jared laughed, “No, Jamie has a very even head. I’ll talk to Sandy, get everything cleared.” 

“Thank you, Jay, so much. I wasn’t expecting it. I just wanted to see you.” 

“I know you weren’t. You couldn’t have possibly known. But it’s not a big deal, don’t worry about it.” 

Jared allowed himself to slip back into the music. He loved it. When they came off the stage Jared caught Jamie, who was grinning, up in a hug. “That was awesome, Baby. Knocked it out of the park.” He handed Jamie a bottle of water which he began to gulp down.

“Don’t mess up the makeup, Jared! I have to go back out,” but even as he said it Jamie was hugging him back. The crowd was going wild. “Isn’t the stage cool?” 

“Really cool, baby.” Jamie cuddled closer. “Kind of reminds me of the Delacorte Theater in Central Park.”

“We’re playing there,” said Jensen. 

“No way! I love that place! You guys are going to love Central Park,” Jared felt himself get excited. 

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Jay. We have four weeks until we get to the east coast. But we’re also playing on the Great Lawn the next night.” Jensen was sipping his water. “You ready, baby?” 

Jamie nodded and Jared put him down. “Have fun.” 

Jensen shot him a wink over his shoulder. They launched into their encore and Jared said, “They’re really awesome right?”

Misha nodded, “It’s amazing music. Jamie’s really impressive and Jensen is clearly enjoying himself. It’s so cool to be back here.” 

They finished and Jensen said his usual bit, thanking the warm-up band, thanking the orchestra and telling the audience to get home safely. Jensen might make fun of Jared’s catchphrases but he apparently had his own. They left the stage and Jamie yawned wide. “Ready for bed?” 

Jamie looked at his new watch, “It’s not nine yet and I slept late. Can I stay up a little more?”

“Okay,” Jensen nodded, “We’re going to go to the bus, change into PJs and then we’ll watch a little Food Network until nine thirty. Okay?” 

Jamie nodded then he said, “It was nice to meet you, Misha. See you later.” 

The makeup artist came and started to take off their faces Jensen said, “It really was, Misha. If you guys want to go off that’s cool. We’ll see you in a bit, Jared.” 

Misha said, “No, it’s fine. Jared, LA maybe?” 

“Yeah, and I’ll email you after I speak to Sandy.” He hugged Misha. 

“Later, boys,” Misha put his hands in his pockets and walked away. 

“I like him,” said Jamie. The artist finished with Jensen and moved on to Jamie. 

“He’s nice,” said Jared. “I have no idea where your parents went.”

“They’re probably in the casino.” Jensen shrugged. “They aren’t going to watch every single show; it’s vacation for them too. You don’t need to watch all of them either.” 

“I love them,” said Jared. “I want to watch them.” 

“Okay then,” said Jensen. Jamie thanked the girl once she was done. 

Back in the bus they changed into PJs and watched a Throwdown. Just as Jensen said it was time to bed his parents came in and the bus started to move. That night once they were getting into bed Jensen said, “I feel great. I feel adjusted to the tour.” He smiled, “Take off your pants.” 

~~~

Jared did as he was told and Jensen proceeded to rock his world. He needed to rock his world after tonight. He’d liked Misha, honestly. Who wouldn’t like such an amazing humanitarian and all around nice guy? And he was totally fine with him working with Jared. Except that Jensen hated his handsome altruistic face. How can you dislike an altruistic, nice, smiley, friendly guy? If your boyfriend calls him Meesh. He knew it was stupid. Jared was his. Jared was in it to win it. Jared was going to be the father of his unborn twins. But he hated the way that during dinner Misha would finish Jared’s sentences. He hated the casual way they touched. It was stupid but he hated everything about Misha. So now he was making Jared moan and buck and ramble about how much he loved Jensen. 

Then the worst thing that would happen happened. Jared was talking, rambling without a filter, the way he always did and he said something about Misha. Jensen pulled back as though he’d been burned. “Wha?” Jared was muzzy. 

“You can’t… you can’t do that.” 

“Do what?” Jared reached out to play with his nipples but Jensen brushed his hands away. 

“You can’t talk about Misha while we’re having sex. I know you don’t have a filter but you have to find a way to be just with it enough to not mention him.” 

“Jen, are you okay?”

“Right before I go on stage you could ask me if I would enjoy being castrated and I would say yes. I get so pumped up that you could punch me in the face and I would say thank you.”

“So you’re saying I ambushed you when I asked you if you would be okay with me asking Misha to come on the show? That I, in essence, tricked you into saying that you were okay with it?” Jared was clearly getting pissed. 

“No, I know you weren’t.”

“So, what, Jen? What are you saying?” Jared’s words were clipped and it was weird because Jared never got angry.

“I never thought I was a jealous person.”

Jared looked full on mad now, “Jensen, I would never cheat on you. How could you-” 

“I know that.”

“So what’s the problem?” 

“How would you feel if I was friends with an ex?” 

“You’ve slept with all your friends and I’m cool with that.”

“That’s different.” 

“How, Jensen, how is it different?”

“You’re telling me, honestly, that you’ve never slept with Mike?”

“Well, that was only once. On that date Chad set us up on. He paid; I was being polite.”

“Right, and you’re just friends. So when you start talking about him during sex I just roll with it. But you can’t talk about Misha, you loved him and you can’t talk about him when I’m inside of you. It’s rude. I love you, when I’m with you intimately we’re the only two people in the world. I love the rambling during sex but you can’t talk about him. I’m trying to be cool about you’re almost angelically nice ex. I’m trying really hard, I was friendly, I didn’t flinch when he – a stranger – hugged me, I said that it was cool when you offered him a job and I very nearly meant it because I want you to be happy. But you can’t talk about him during sex. I don’t like him, he’s a great guy and he’s done nothing wrong, but the way you smile at him makes me hate him. It’s not his fault or your fault. I’m a jealous bastard. I’m trying because you’re my partner but I loathe him because you like him.”

“Jen,” Jared wasn’t angry anymore 

“You’re my partner, Jared, you’re the one person I talk to about everything, not my parents or Jamie or Annie: you. And I don’t like that he finishes your sentences. That’s my job and I’m not always very good at it because sometimes it’s hard to predict what’s going to come out of your mouth. He’s better at it but it’s not his job. He went to France; he’s not your baby daddy. I know you’re here for the long haul. I know that because you stick around when I’m jumpy and when I’m a dick. We’ve just waded through weeks of adoption papers to make sure that the twins are yours. I know you’re with me. I know that if Texas would get its head out of its ass you would be my legal partner on top of everything else. I know that. But when you say his name and I’m in you it makes me feel three inches tall.” 

“Hey, hey,” Jared hugged him close. “Jensen, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“I didn’t either I actually met him.” Jensen cuddled closer his anger going out. “I know you wouldn’t cheat on me, I know you love me.” 

“Do want me to say I couldn’t get the job for him?”

“No, that’s mean. You shouldn’t kick the humanitarian when he’s down.” 

Jared chuckled, “I could make a huge contribution to his charity. It’s the charity that’s having problems.”

“I was thinking of contributing, just to make me feel less guilty for hating him.” 

Jared chuckled again, “So I’m going to do my damnedest to not talk about him during sex even though I never know what I’m saying. But what else can I do?” 

“Nothing, nothing. I’m being stupid. It just freaked me out.”

“No,” Jared shook his head, “it would probably freak me out if you were friends with an ex. So guide lines?”

“Don’t tell him I don’t like him.”

“Done.”

“I don’t want to hang out with him.”

“Okay.”

“And I don’t really want Jamie to hang out with him and start thinking he’s awesome… I am such an asshole.”

Jared kissed him gently, “I knew that before we started dating, Jen. I love you and I don’t want to make you unhappy. I wouldn’t have offered him the job if I’d known.” 

“I like that you did. It’s a very Jared thing to do… I killed the mood, sorry.”

“No, I killed the mood by talking about an ex during sex.”

“You’ve talked about him before but I hadn’t met him yet, it didn’t bother me before… I’m sorry.”

“Can we go back to fifteen minutes ago? I’ll be good and not talk, just keep kissing me. It shuts me up.” Jared leaned up and started to kiss him and Jensen fell into it enjoying the closeness and the feeling of Jared against him. He started to finger Jared and Jared broke the kiss and said, “Skip ahead, we did this already, then we took a break, want to get back there.” He started to stroke Jensen back to hardness. “Please, Jen. I want you.” He went back to kissing as Jensen entered him. He moaned in the back of his throat and Jensen swallowed the noise. It was fast yet gentle. He held Jared close and caressed his face as they kissed. He came with a groan and then slid out of Jared. He crawled down the bed and sucked and licked Jared into coming. Jared was stroking his hair and moaning, “Jen, Jesus, love you.” 

“Love you too,” Jensen settled down next to him. Jensen was starting to drift off but Jared was awake as always so Jensen wasn’t shocked when Jared started talking. 

“How tired are you? Can we revisit baby names?” 

“Sure,” said Jensen. “We’ve got the ultrasound coming up. Do you want to know the gender?”

“I don’t mind either way as long as they’re healthy. Do you want to know?” 

“I’m not good at spontaneity. I would rather know.” 

Jared nodded, “Favorite name for a boy?” 

“Ashley… but that might be a bad call… it’s very Sothern nowadays, we could call him Ash? I don’t know. I like Ashley Martin but I can be swayed. You?”

“Tristan Ross. Too much? Is I douche bag-ish to want to names someone after you?”

“No, I like it. I wanted Jamie’s first initial to be a J so, I get it. Girls?”

“Elizabeth Rose. You?”

“Alexandra Patricia. Jamie wanted his mom’s name but I think it’s a little morbid to have it as her first name.” 

Jared chucked, “He picked Rose.”

“Where are we on the last name debate?”

“I want them to be Ackles, same as Jamie. I’m sure; stop arguing about it. How’s all the adoption stuff?”

“Everything is done, and redone, redrafted. Signed in triplicate and sorted out. They’re legally yours too.” 

“You spoken to Jamie yet?” 

“No, not yet. I’m going to wait until we’re alone on the tour. I want him to think about it without the pressure of having people around. Y’know?” He yawned wide.

Jared made an agreeing sound. He uncurled himself slowly and reached to the floor for their pants. They pulled them on slowly and Jared said, “Go to sleep, Jen. It’s a big day tomorrow. You know why it’s a big day?” 

“Because every day is a big day.” Then he was quiet but he was thinking about the day as a whole. “Are you going to ask why I freaked out when Bobby told me to ‘pray on it’?”

“You’re dad told me, about after Tricia’s death.” 

“My dad’s covering for me.”

“Oh?”

“No one knows this okay? Momma, Dad, Mack, Josh and Christian they know but no one else. Tricia knew but her family doesn’t. It’s something from my past that I don’t talk about.” 

“Okay.”

“No questions while I’m saying it. You can ask after it. Okay?” 

“Yeah.” 

Jensen took a deep breath, knowing it was a long explanation and knowing that it would be distressing to both of them. “I was really religious once upon a time. I mean I was a Jesus Freak. Not in a bad way, not really, I wasn’t mean to non Jesus freaks or anything. After Kerr outed me and his dad said I was going to hell and so was my family I started to hate myself. I knew all the bible verses that said I was sick. I started to think it was God who outed me, using Kerr. I thought it was a punishment for being an abomination. I didn’t want to drag my family down with me. I ‘prayed on it,’ Jared. I spent hours on my knees praying. I prayed to stop sinning. But I couldn’t. I could stop doing things with boys, I could stop masturbating but I couldn’t stop the thoughts. Then I would get drunk, sad and, have sex with my friends and then hate myself afterwards.   
“I glossed over it for you, called it a slutty period because I don’t talk about it. I don’t even like thinking about it. But, it’s a lot like your diving: we’re having kids so you should know about my crazy period. You told me that you were ashamed about being gay when you were in high school. But this was so much more than being ashamed. It was extreme self-loathing; I was disgusted and I prayed to be fixed.   
“I couldn’t bring myself to kiss girls, to be straight. The bible says that gay people should be sentenced to death. I started thinking that maybe suicide would be okay. I knew it was a big sin but I’d be getting rid of a sodomite and maybe God could forgive me. I planned it all out. Remember that old building out by Ryan Field? The one that was condemned back in the early seventies but only knocked down ‘bout five years back?” 

Jared said, “Yeah. It was here when I moved here.”

“No one ever went there. Not even drunk kids. It was too creepy. I was going to go out there with some booze and pills and a razor. I had it all planned out and written in a notebook. I read it later: it was a fucking crazy man’s writings filled with bible quotes and half written suicide notes and apologies and the plan written down in step by step instructions. Josh had broken his leg a few weeks before. He had pain pills; I stole them little by little as well as Chris’s mom’s antidepressants and a lot of aspirin. I was getting enough, storing them. I didn’t know that my parents were worried about me, that they’d realized something was very off. I was out, hanging out at LeAnn’s and my parents searched my room. They found the razor, the pills and the book. My dad came over and got me from LeAnn’s place. I knew, from the look on his face, I knew.” Jared held him tighter and Jensen was grateful. 

“My momma and dad held me between them on the couch all night, we talked until well after the sun came up. Josh was sent to Jason’s house Macky to LeAnn’s for the night. I cried, sobbed. Explained that God wasn’t helping me, told them how much I’d ‘prayed on it’ told them He hadn’t helped, that He’d closed His heart to me. I begged them to see reason, that my plan was best for all of us, explained that it was for all our salvations. I talked about how much I had disappointed our pastor who I had really liked and respected. My parents always say that they left the church but really they were forced out. The church said it was me or God. I told them that God was going to abandon them too.” 

He sniffed realizing he was having problems breathing because he was so lost in the memories. “Three days later they drove me to gay Christian camp.” He saw Jared’s horror. “No, not like that, nothing like that. It was a really nice place for really religious gay kids who were afraid of themselves, afraid of who they were. It wasn’t to turn you straight. It was to make you realize that God hadn’t answered your prayers to be straight because there was nothing wrong with you. If He was a good God, if He was the kind loving God of the New Testament, then He could never abandon His children. It was kind of like continual fun, interesting Sunday school which, as everyone was really religious, we all liked it. No one used the phrase ‘pray the gay away’ yet. People would say that they’d ‘prayed on it’ to become straight so we got rid of the term. You didn’t ‘pray on it’ anymore when you prayed you ‘talked to God’ you ‘prayed your heart out’.   
“It was about studying the bible in a modern view. It was talking about how the bible is the word of God as seen through men, that even prophets were human. A lot of it was looking stuff like working on Sunday, about not eating shellfish or pork, not dancing or touching pig skin, about poly blend shirts. We sort of encouraged to break those rules. You didn’t have to if you didn’t want to but I mean, on Fridays there was always fish but there was also always pulled-pork. There was always Christian rock music playing for you to dance to. And touch football was always going on. Repainting walls on Sundays, or washing floors, or cleaning up around the area’s woods was work you could volunteer to do.  
“Our leader was a gay Unitarian minister, Ben Edlund, he was nice and funny. My parents had called him and faxed him a copy of my notebook so he knew the score. He wasn’t condescending or one of those stupid ‘youth ministers’ he didn’t try to rap about God or ride a motorcycle. He made fun of those guys. He’d shout, ‘Are you down with D.O.G?’ and then say, ‘I may have gotten that wrong. I’m dyslexic.’ It was really wholesome but it was also really relaxed. He would talk about taking the concrete words of the bible with ‘a pinch of Lot’s Wife’ instead of salt which always made me laugh.   
“When we called home we weren’t allowed to talk about other people’s problems but we could talk about our friendships, only first names. It was a safe space so it wasn’t to be shared. When I first got there he said all the campers, ‘Let’s be honest. There aren’t many Jensen’s in the world, let alone famous ones who’ve just been outed. It’s not anonymous if you’re parents can figure it out in one little logic leap. So when you call your parents you should refer to him as Jen. That an okay name with you, Jensen?’ everyone at home called me Jen anyway. And I was so pleased for that anonymity and to just be treated like another camper.   
“It was Christ and love and God all the time. I felt happier there than I had since Kerr’s mom had found us. You didn’t leave after two weeks, there was no deadline. You were there until you were ready not to be there. I was there for nine weeks. You were encouraged to call your parents and family a lot, wherever you wanted to not just at set times, and to have good, positive friends visit once you were stable. But I didn’t want anyone to know. Once I got less crazy I was embarrassed by how crazy I’d been. My parents and Minister Ben kept encouraging me to call Chris, to tell my best friend, so that someone in my friend group would be there for me once I went home. Eventually I saw what they meant. Chris came, he stayed for two days. He liked it and he was really supportive and not judgmental. I was pleased that he liked it there; it made me feel more normal about being there. He was part of a really liberal church; I think his parents wanted him to be more religious so they went to a cool one. After I left camp Macky, Josh and I went to church with them. Chris and my parents told his parents that they were worried about us losing our connection with God since we’d had to leave our church. But really, I needed a church. I needed the organization.   
“Once I left I would go back sometimes, just for a tune up. When the bigotry got to be too much or when I just wanted to feel totally protected from the outside world. I brought Tricia there to volunteer the summer after junior year once we were engaged to be engaged. Just for a week. When I introduced her to Minister Dan he was horrified and he said that he loved me too much to hold his tongue and that we couldn’t talk about straight rebirth but then Tricia told him that she was a lesbian and about our plan and he was happy for us.   
“We talked about our plan a lot with the campers. Some of the campers worry about having families. We talked about adoption, surrogacy, having a baby with a friend all of the options you have to create a family. Minister Ben talked about the fact that he and his partner fostered kids. It was a fun week. He came to our wedding and he came to her funeral… I don’t know how I feel about God or His existence now. I don’t think He’s real. I just feel angry when I think about it but I still donate a lot of money to that organization, it’s a charity, and it’s kind of run down, it’s awesome but it’s not well funded. I might not be religious anymore but I know what that program did for me. So that’s my very, extremely long explanation as to why someone telling me to ‘pray on it’ made me pissed off. Just so you know.” 

Jared cuddled him so close, “I love you, Jensen. I’m so sorry you went through that.”

“I loved it there though. It was a good thing. And I’d rather have that breakdown then, in high school when I was being home schooled, instead of after Joshua. I was a grown up when Joshua broke my heart and the camp had made me more stable and it was during the school year so it would have been harder to go. I talked to God a lot, talked about why it had happened. I didn’t get any answers but I still felt loved. In some ways I’m almost grateful for what happened. Not what Kerr did but I’m grateful for my time there. It made me happier and more secure in who I was. So when the Westboro Baptist Church protested my next tour… did you read about that in your googling?”

“Yeah.” 

“Well, when that happened I knew that there wasn’t anything wrong with me. I knew it was their problem and we had talked about them a lot at camp. They’re not a church; they’re one angry family who are lawyered-up. But I didn’t tour for a while after I left camp. I didn’t want the publicity of a tour. That was when I did Titanic.”

“Did you have a boyfriend there?” 

“No, there were pretty strict rules against dating. Minister Ben would say, ‘Your families sent you here to get settled in your own skins not laid.’ Romantic relationships aren’t helpful when you’re in that mindset. In fact, we had coed rooms to safeguard against it. My first roommates were a lesbian called Alona, she was on her way out, and a guy named Chad. His grandma sent him. His parents had kicked him out for being gay and when his grandma found out that he was really ashamed of being gay she brought him to camp to get his head clear. They made sure your first roommates had been there a while to show you the ropes and help you find the lake and stuff. Alona’s brother sent her a care package with weed in it on the same day that Chad’s grandma had sent Girl Scout cookies. That was awesome.” Jared laughed, “Whatever, Genesis 1:29 says it’s cool.” 

“So it was fun there?” 

“A lot of fun; one of the best camps I ever went to. I’d stopped doing sleep away when I was fourteen and it was fun to be back at one. Especially one where I had so much in common with everyone. Once I stopped planning to kill myself it was a really fantastic camp. I never ate pork on Fridays because at home we had fish on Friday and it felt weird not to. In fact even after college, until Jamie got allergic to it, we had fish every Friday. But I did all the volunteer stuff on Sundays, I learned some really great football moves, I danced a lot. Minister Ben gave really good services on Sundays. And all the adults there were great.”

Jared was still hugging him tightly and he kissed Jensen’s forehead, “I love you and I am so glad your parents searched your room.”

“Yeah, at the time I was really angry at them, for getting in the way but… It was a really efficient plan, I’d be so dead.”

“I’m glad you’re here.”

Jensen chuckled, “Me too.” He leaned forward and kissed Jared. “It’s getting really late, Jay. Will you be able to sleep?” Jared pulled him really close. 

“Yeah, I have you to cuddle with, I’ll sleep just fine. You need to get some sleep to be pretty and vivacious tonight on stage.” 

“I laid a lot on you tonight.” 

“I’m glad, I’m glad you told me about disliking my ex, I’ll keep him away from you. And I’m glad you told me about summer camp because I love you and I want to know all the important stuff in your life.” 

“I think that’s the last of my fucked up stuff.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you. You know that right? When God made you He called all the angels together. He said unto them, ‘Behold Jensen Ackles. He is perfection. Let’s knock off early.’” Jensen laughed, “I’m serious.”

“I know. That’s what makes it so funny.” He kissed Jared deeply. “I know there’s nothing wrong with me. I like who I am and I like my life.” He looked at his watch, “It’s almost three.” 

Jared stroked his back, “Go to sleep, Jen. I’m right here and I always will be.” 

~~~

It’s only a three hours later that Jamie’s voice over the intercom waking Jared from a dead sleep. “Daddy? Jared? Can I come cuddle?” 

Jensen hit the button and said, “I’m coming to get you, baby.” He climbed over Jared, with a groan. 

“I would make grabby hands at your gorgeous ass,” Jared yawned, “but I am so tired.” 

Jensen just nodded, “Move more into the bed so that Jamie and I can just fall in.” Jared slowly wiggled to the other side as Jensen unclipped the lee cloth. Jensen came back a few moments later leading Jamie by the hand. Jamie climbed in so that he was between them. He threw an arm over Jared and went straight back to sleep. “I’m gonna be so sad when he stops wanting to snuggle.” Jensen kissed Jared, re-clipped the lee cloth and cuddled up close to them. 

Later Jamie started moving which woke Jared up. Jamie was looking at him. “Usually you’re up first,” Jamie said softly. 

“We stayed up too late,” said Jared. 

“Were you doing something fun?”

“No, just talking.” Jared hugged Jamie close. “Are you ready to get up?” Jamie nodded. Jared nudged Jensen’s leg. “Jen, move a little so we can get up.” Jensen pulled his legs up to his chest so that if they scooted to the end of the bed they could get out. They did and then Jared kissed Jensen’s forehead, “Thanks, go back to sleep.” Jensen mumbled something and rolled over. He and Jamie brushed their teeth and dressed. They headed down to craft for breakfast with the dogs. Jared fed them their kibble while he and Jamie had pancakes and bacon. Jensen’s parents joined them after a little while and asked where he was. “Asleep, we stayed up too late.”

Afterwards he woke Jensen up saying, “Jen, you gotta wake up if you want some coffee before we go to the archeology site.” 

“Time is it?” asked Jensen stretching. 

“A little after ten.” He kissed Jensen gently. “How are you?”

Jensen nodded groggily, “I’m good. Thanks for listening last night.” 

“Thanks for telling me. It means a lot.” Jensen gave him a sheepish grin. “Seriously, Jensen, thank you. I know it was hard.” 

They fell into an easy rhythm after that. Every day they would go to some tourist spot and every evening his boys would rock out on stage. They would Skype home to Annie and all their parents sometimes Jamie would Skype with Tim and Daniel. They agreed to do the extra classical concert and stopped playing any classical music in the pop/rock/low country rock concerts. Most afternoons they would play with the karaoke system which was actually cleverly disguised vocal warm-ups but Jamie had fun so it wasn’t work. Every night Jared would stand backstage and just enjoy watching them. And Jensen would come off stage wired and, after putting Jamie to bed, he would take Jared hard and long. 

Jared set things in motion for Misha to be on the show. Jensen donated a large sum of money to Misha’s charity to appease his guilt even though Jared could see his point. It was early in the work day a few days after he’d seen Misha when Jared called Sandy. At first Sandy seemed pissed about it and Jared couldn’t figure it out until she said, “So should I book connecting rooms or should I go all out and book a Californian king?” 

“Whoa, no, back up,” said Jared. “Dude, I’m helping out a friend who needs money. I’m not asking you to arrange a two week booty call. I’m not fucking about on Jen. He knows about it.”

She sighed, “Oh thank Christ. Sorry, sorry. Okay, yeah, I’ll set it up. From the tenth to the twenty-second.” 

“Thank you. Also, Jensen was saying maybe we can use him for paternity leave as opposed to needing to take a break?”

“No, it’s your show, no. Branding would be a nightmare. Scrappy Doo didn’t really suck as a character; he sucked because he was added to the Scoobies too late in the game. I like Misha, I get why you want to help him, but I’m not very happy about this. This is your last season and you can’t have a sub.”

He nodded, “Okay, thank you.” 

Sighing she said, “How’s the tour?”

“The coolest road trip ever. We’re having a great time.” Jamie came downstairs in a bathing suit. “I have to go, Sandy, the hotel that the orchestra is staying in has an outside pool. I need to work on my tan if you want me to look pretty on TV.” 

It was nice being on vacation with his boys and Jensen’s parents. There had already been a lot of interviews with the film crew. And the camera crew shot a lot of the time. They were used to having the cameras all around them and Jared didn’t even really notice them anymore. They were rolling the night Jared had to leave so were Jensen’s parents. At the craft services they were eating dinner while Jensen’s parents were packing and Jamie said, “We’re going to miss you, Jared.” 

Jared gave him a one armed hug, “I’m going to miss you too. But guess what? You’ll be on stage and you won’t even miss me. Then tomorrow morning I’m going to be awake long before you to go to the market: you won’t miss me as you’ll be asleep. I’ll go to the market so Elisha can sleep in because she’s been having to run the restaurant by herself as I’m here and Paris is in LA. And then I’m going with Annie to the baby doctor. We’re going to Skype, so you’ll be able to see the twins. We’ll find out if your siblings are boys or girls or one of each. Isn’t that cool?” Jamie nodded. “Then we’ll go to lunch at the restaurant to celebrate knowing the babies’ genders. Then I’ll cook dinner so Elisha can have a night off and I’ll be thinking of you boys because you’ll be on stage. Then the next morning I’ll do the market so Elisha can have another morning off. Then I’ll shower and fly back to you by early afternoon. It’s less than two days. Blink and I’ll be back. You’ll take good care of Harley and Sadie for me, right?”

Jamie nodded, “But why do you have to go? You’re going to miss good stuff. Can’t you just be with us while we Skype her?”

Jensen laughed, “Annie is carrying your siblings. One of the parents has to be with her because right now Jason isn’t even home: he’s touring. She’s freaking out because she’s never been pregnant before, and they’re twins and she’s already very pregnant at fifteen weeks. She’s freaking out and saying, ‘I’m only the surrogate.’ She needs Jared or me to hold her hand. As I need to be here to be on stage Jared has to go home.” 

Jamie sighed, “Okay. Will you kiss Annie for me?”

“Absolutely.” He saw Jensen’s parents coming towards them and looked at his watch, “It’s time to go.” He hugged Jamie and kissed his cheek, “Have an awesome time, I’ll be back soon. Love you, baby.” He stood and went to Jensen and kissed him slowly, memorizing his mouth the way he did when he had to go away for the show. “I love you. Call me before bed?”

Jensen shook his head, “Call me when you land. I won’t be happy until I know you’re on the ground.” 

“Okay, the minute I land.” He kissed Jensen again. “Have fun on stage.” 

“Always do. Have fun cooking; I know you’re going through withdrawal.” 

Jared smiled, “A little bit. You don’t get to be a nationally ranked chef without being a cooking junky.” He felt his grin widen, “I’ll see you boys soon.” He patted Harley and Sadie, “Be good, babies.” The Ackles had waited a ways off to give them time to say goodbye privately. As he went to them he held out his hands for the two bags Alan was carrying. “I’ll take those to the car.” The dogs started to follow him, “Babies, stay.” They looked between him and the boys. “Stay.” Finally they sat back down. “I’ll see you in two days.” He went out of the tent that had been set up and went straight to the waiting SUV where a driver instantly took the bags from him. “Thanks, my in-laws are coming soon. They’re just saying goodbye to my boys.” 

The flight was quiet. And Jared sat with the Ackles reading a cookbook. It was the first time he’s ever been alone with them for more than an hour and it was nice. They talked a lot about the babies and about the appointment the next day. Alan asked him about his restaurant how exactly one opened their own restaurant. Jared could feel himself grinning and said, “It’s money, luck and effort. The money is why so few chefs own their own restaurants. I worked in other people’s restaurants and I saved a lot of money by still living with Chad. All the time I was entering cooking contests to win money and learn. And it was good, I learned a lot about myself as a chef. I took a lot of classes on the side. I wasn’t a pastry chef so I went to a lot of master classes so that I could learn it. Plus, from working in restaurants I learned what I didn’t want my restaurant to be like. I was six months out of school, and three months into my first job. I over cooked someone’s steak and the head chef threw a three thousand dollar Univex mixer at my head. When you mess up that big you are already ashamed and embarrassed what you need is help to recover and fix the problem not having huge lumps of metal launched at you. His kitchen was no fun, it was miserable, and I just thought that it was wrong. I hated my job and I knew when I got a restaurant of my own it would be fun. From all the competitions I got my show. We shot the first and second season of the show all at once. It was forty-four episodes in eighty days and with the money I was able to start the restaurant and hire my best friends. My kitchen is fun, hard work and adrenaline. We have music and talking all the time. And if anyone ever threw anything in anger they would be out the door before the end of the sitting. So I’m excited that this is the last season of the show because I love being in my kitchen. This fall we’ll shoot the sixth season of the show and the restaurant will have been open for five years.” 

“I’ve never really liked being in the kitchen,” said Donna. “I do quick cooking or slow things I don’t have to pay attention to. I don’t enjoy cooking very much.”

“My momma used to say that I lived to eat I didn’t eat to live. When I cook time stops; I love it. Before I met the boys any time the show wasn’t shooting I was in the kitchen all the time. That’s part of the reason I’m glad the show’s ending. It eats up a lot of time that I could be with my boys or in my kitchen. With the babies coming I’m glad the show is coming to an end.” 

“But you like being famous,” said Alan and Jared laughed. 

Shaking his head he said, “I’m both more and less vain than everyone thinks. I do really love being famous but not being on TV won’t bother me that much. A) I’ll still be famous as the head chef of the best restaurant in the Dallas area. I’m a nationally ranked chef. People in the business will still know who I am and I don’t really need to be a celebrity to be famous. B) I’ll never get old on TV. On film I’ll always be somewhere between twenty-two and twenty-seven.” Both the others laughed at him. “Yeah, well, who wouldn’t want to have some of their best looking years on tape?” 

They turned back to pregnancy and Mack and Annie. Soon enough they landed and Jared whipped out his cell phone and called Jensen. He knew Jensen would be on stage but he left a message, “Hey, Jen. We just touched down all safe and sound. Hope you’re having fun being sexy on stage. Call me later. Love you.” He thought he was speaking softly but he ears hadn’t popped yet and the Ackles were smirking at him so he assumed that they’d heard his sexy comment and he felt himself blush. Jared didn’t have any luggage as he was only going to be away for forty-five hours but he went with them and grabbed their stuff off the conveyor belt for them because he had super long, useful arms. They went out to the gate and Jared instantly spotted LeAnn’s mother and, with his height, she instantly saw him too and waved. Jared was still carrying one of the Ackles’ bags so he walked over with them and hugged LeAnn’s momma. 

Then he saw Chad just before the man jumped on him and started giving him a nuggie and not for the first time he said, “Hey, how are you not the gay one?” He pushed Chad off of him. He quickly said goodbye the adults before Chad could say anything disgusting like, “Because I like pussy.” 

They went to Chad’s car and Chad said, “How are your boys?” 

“Having a wonderful time on tour. They’re so awesome, y’know? They keep playing to bigger and bigger audiences and they’re so captivating that it just works. I love watching them on stage. And each time we change locations Jensen makes sure there is some cool or hilarious lame tourist place for us to go to. How’s your movie going?”

Chad groaned, “The cool thing about making movies,” He rolled his eyes and said, “—other than the awards, obviously — is getting to go on location and see new places. We’re shooting in fucking Dallas. How shit-fucking dull is that? I thought at least I would get to be with my girl. She’s supposed to be teaching summer school and now her mom got sick and Sophia flew home to Pasadena, like, six days ago. I could have been in fucking LA, man.”

“Dude, I’m sorry.”

“Fucking sucks, dude. So tomorrow you find out if the babies are chicks, dudes or a set, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Call me right after?” 

“First person after blood, I swear.”

“Cool, want to get a couple of drinks?” 

“Dude, I want to change out of airplane smelling clothes and chill out in the pool.” 

Chad looked a little sad, “I totally get it.” 

“Let’s swing by your place to grab your suit?” 

Chad beamed, “Totally. Leesh made me some really good salsa. She said I don’t eat anything healthy when Sophia’s away.”

“Senior year you did. And freshman year of life.”

“Yeah, but I lived with a fucking chef who was eventually going to be super famous.” 

Jared laughed, “That’s true. It’s a good thing you eat anything I put in front of you ‘cause we had no money.”

“Yeah, but we had a lot of fun… I can’t believe you’re going to be a dad.”

“I know, man. I feel really grownup.”

“Yeah, man, scary. But really cool. Plus, you know what’s awesome about twins?”

“Are you about to say something disgusting? Is this about you’re theory that all attractive twins should make porn no matter the gender combination?”

Chad laughed, “Even I wouldn’t say that about your kids. No, the great thing about twins is that there’s always one available for cuddling. You know I love babies.” Chad really was fantastic with little kids. “So what are you hoping for? Sex wise?”

Jared didn’t understand the question and hazarded a guess at what Chad was talking about, “Hot blowjobs, inventive positions and for Jensen to never accidentally come in my eye because that hurts like a bitch.” 

“No, you retard, the genders of the babies.”

“Oh! I don’t care; healthy that’s all I care about.” 

They slipped into silence and after a while Chad said, “Are you okay, Jay?”

Jared thought he knew where Chad was going. Years of practice told him what Chad meant. But he played dumb and said, “Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“Well, fucktard, there is quite a lot of evidence which you haven’t covered up. Plus, usually when I ask if you’re okay you say that you’re fine. As you didn’t say that, I’m thinking that things might be un-fine.” 

“Okay,” Jared nodded. “And what am I supposed to be un-fine with?” 

“Sandy called me and said that Misha was working with us. Which is fine but the fact that you didn’t tell me leads me back to un-fine. You tell me everything and you did not tell me about even seeing Misha. The only time you don’t tell me stuff is when you think I’m going to be angry. So what’s going on, Jay?”

Jared sighed, “Misha is going broke. I offered for him to come and work on the show for a while.” Chad nodded. “But I wasn’t really thinking and I didn’t ask Jen if he was cool with it first.” Chad hissed between his teeth. “Right so, when I did ask he was about to go on stage and he said it was cool. But then afterwards he said he wasn’t cool.”

“Motherfucker you’re retarded, Jay. You know that right?” Jared was about to speak when Chad said, “Shut your eyes.” Jared didn’t want to do that because Chad was a terrifying driver and Jared would rather see his death coming. “Do it.” Jared obeyed. “Okay, it’s five minutes ‘til the first dinner sitting. You went the market, you baked the bread, lunch went really well. Now it’s that moment: that tiny space of time, when it’s the lull right before it begins. Ring-ring, ‘Hi, Mr. Pedlicki.’ ‘Um, actually it’s Padalecki,’” his Jared impersonation was pretty spot on. “‘This is Police Sergeant Whateverthefuck, were you aware that your beloved convertible was stolen?’ ‘Uh, no, Officer. Was it found?’ ‘Yes, crashed into a wall and set on fire.’” Chad sighed, “What do you do, Jared?”

“Nothing the first sitting is about to begin.”

“Right. And what do you think about for the next five hours?”

“Food.”

“Does your car cross your mind even once?”

“No. Of course not I have way more important things to think about.”

“But what happens when the restaurant closes?”

“I lose my shit about my car.”

“You asked Jensen if he was cool with you hanging out with your hot ex five minutes before the first sitting.” Jared started to shake his head, as he opened his eyes. “Yes, you did, Jared.”

“No, I asked him while he was plating the first course. I know, I suck, that’s why I didn’t tell you. I suck.” 

Chad patted his thigh, “You don’t suck: you’re just retarded. Jensen’s the best person you’ve ever dated. Misha was great and he was fun but he wasn’t exactly stable; the boy’s manic. It never would have worked in the long run. He’s a ‘once upon a time’ boyfriend, the nice ex that you can look back on fondly when other relationships blow up in your face. Jensen is your forever boy. Do not fuck this up, Jared. You’re about to have kids with him, he loves you. He’s got a dead wife and shit ton of bigotry in his past the last thing he needs is for you to do something stupid.”

“I wouldn’t-”

“No, but Misha might. Takes two to tango, it only takes one to grope. If anything were to ever happen between you and Jensen you get me in the divorce but I would resent you for it. Don’t fuck it up for my sake. I don’t want to have to stop chilling with Jensen.” 

“I’m not going to-”

“And, I’m a little pissed at you. It’s our last season and now it’s not just you, Mike, the crew and me. I was wrong: you do suck a little bit.”

“I made up with, Jen, we’re good. Jensen and I are fine as a couple and it’s only two weeks with Misha, then it will just be us. We’re doing thirty episodes as it’s the last season, we have lots of time for just us.”

Chad was silent as they pulled into his driveway, “Don’t fuck it up, retard, I like Jensen.”

“It’s only two weeks, Chad,” he said as they climbed out of the car. 

“Yeah, I know. But I need you guys to be okay.”

“Are you okay?” asked Jared feeling concerned. Then he remembered, “You haven’t called me, weren’t you going to propose again?” Just like Jared didn’t tell Chad stuff when he thought Chad would get angry, Chad didn’t tell Jared stuff he thought would make Jared sad. 

Chad didn’t say anything until they were inside the house, “So a couple of days after you left I took Sophia to this super romantic park by us. You know the one with the lake?” 

“Yeah.” Joe, TumTum and Axel are instantly on him, giving him awesome dog affection.

Chad watched his dogs worship Jared and said, “Paris helped me make a picnic dinner to bring out there.”

“Nice.” 

“Thank you. I went out there. I set it all up, I had lit paper lanterns everywhere. The cinematographer in me was thrilled at how fucking wicked it was. The weather was perfect. She meets me out there for this perfect dinner and afterwards we‘re lying on the blanket, making out under the stars.” 

“Again, nice.”

“Right? So we’re cuddling and she’s laughing because I’m being witty and shit. And I pull the ring box out and lean up and say, ‘Sophia, I want to do this for the rest of our lives.’ And she smiles and says, ‘I’m not ready.’ So we banged by the lake. She’ll say yes someday, yeah? It’s been over two years. She’s always saying she wants the same thing as me, she wants a big family, but I don’t know how long I have to wait. I’m one of six, dude, I want a fuck load of kids. And I’m just feeling like, I don’t know, I’m ready.”

“She’ll say yes. I don’t think she’s stringing you along.”

“Dude, if I was the girl in this relationship I would just get ‘accidentally’ knocked up and then she’d have to marry me.” 

Jared laughed, knowing that Chad didn’t mean it. “She’ll say yes, give her more time.” 

Chad nodded, “Yeah, I know. Let me grab some stuff.” 

He left the dogs with Jared. Jared meanwhile raided Chad’s fridge for snacks. Elisha’s salsa was labeled with a list of ingredients and that made Jared chuckle. Back in school when so many tests were based on creating recipes they would test them out on their friends. Chad was never useful he would praise everything and act sort of nonchalantly about the culinary masterpieces they were creating. So eventually, just to make him appreciate how hard it was, he, Elisha and Paris would write out the recipes and serve them to Chad along with the dish. He still wasn’t a useful taster but at least he saw how much hard work was behind it. Although the recipe for the salsa was simple Elisha had still written it down. Mangos, blood oranges, jalapeños, red onion, cilantro, lime juice, olive oil, sea salt, sugar, fresh pepper. It was Jamie safe so Jared put it in a bag. He checked all of the snacks not wanting to bring anything questionable anywhere near the house. He packed some corn chips and some freshly made mozzarella that he recognized as being from the restaurant. The mozzarella had a list of ingredients and the recipe on it all well but that list was in Paris’ handwriting. 

Chad came out with a bag and said, “I have to get to set by five. Can I crash at your place?” 

“Yeah, I have to do the market run tomorrow so I’ll be up early too.” 

Chad whistled and the dogs who followed them out. 

~~~

It was a great concert and Jensen loved watching Jamie. He was glad that the DVD crew was filming so much. Jamie had a little boy’s voice. And yes, it was a very clean, steady voice but it was so high and cute. It was amazing for a kid so young to be able to carry a tune and enunciate while singing. Jensen was glad that they were filming it so that he would have the record. Some day Jamie’s voice would deepen and instead of singing songs about summer and feelings that Jensen had written he would sing songs about love that he’d written himself. While Jamie was still little Jensen would enjoy it. 

Afterwards it was the normal bedtime ritual. They changed into PJs and Jensen tucked Jamie into bed and sat down as he handed Jamie his lion. “So, I have to talk to you about something important okay?” He sat down and wrapped an arm around Jamie as he nodded. “Annie is a really good lawyer. So even though they aren’t born yet Jared is already legally the babies’ dad. It’s all set up so that when they’re born they already have two dads.” Jamie nodded but said nothing. “Right now my will says that if anything happens to me you go and live with Annie. But the babies are Jared’s so they would stay with Jared. I can change my will, say that you stay with Jared if something were to happen to me. But the problem is Texas doesn’t like gay people very much. Even if my will says that you stay with Jared the courts might argue about it.” 

“I don’t want anything to happen to you,” said Jamie.

Pulling him closer Jensen said, “I don’t want it either, I want to stay with you forever. Would you want to stay with Jared?” Jamie nodded. “I can change my will and if something were to happen everyone, all the grownups, will stand up in court and say that you’re supposed to stay with him. Or Jared could adopt you. If he adopted you there would be no question. You don’t have to say yes, if you don’t want to. Jared won’t be mad. It’s just an idea.” 

“Does Jared want to adopt me?” Jamie asked in a very small voice. 

“Yeah, badly. But it’s up to you. He wants to be a permanent part of your life but he’s always going to be here even if you say no. He’s always going to be here for you whether or not you want him to adopt you.” 

“So why isn’t he asking?” asked Jamie. 

“I wanted to ask you alone so that if you want to say no he’s not here to accidentally give you puppydog eyes. He won’t be angry if you say no. He understands that maybe you don’t want another parent. You’re pretty big to be adopted. It’s totally fine if you want keep things the way they are.”

“Would it stop Mommy from being my mom?”

“No,” Jensen stroked his hair, “no. Mommy will never stop being your mom. Jared doesn’t want to replace her.” 

“Would I have to call him Dad?” 

“No, you can still call him Jared.”

“What will the babies call him?”

“They’ll probably call him Dad.” 

Jamie was quiet and then said, “I don’t want to be left out.”

“You never will be. They’re your siblings. This is your family. I would never let you be left out. Calling him something else doesn’t mean being left out. I call my dad Dad, Josh calls him Daddy, Macky calls him Daddy O. No matter what you call Jared he will love you and he’ll always be family.”

“But Jared’s gonna be their dad for real.” 

“Biologically he’s no more their dad than he is yours. He’s just getting in on the ground level. You’re not getting left out or replaced, this is your family. You will always be my baby. I promise. Jared wants to be your parent because he loves you. It’s not just about my will. He wants to be your parent always, not just in case something happens to me. Getting Jared as a parent doesn’t make Mommy not yours; you just get an extra.”

Jamie looked worried, “Will you stay with me tonight?” 

“Sure.” Jamie’s bed wasn’t as big as his and he said, “Come on, let’s go sleep in my bed.” He led Jamie to the other bedroom and climbed under the covers, the dogs were already sleeping at the foot of the bed. “Y’know what’s cool? When you’re the big brother you’re always the coolest. Mack never thought much of me because Josh was so much older and therefore cooler. You’ll have all the cool, older friends. You’ll listen to cool music, you’ll have a car first, everything you say will always be witty.” Jensen clicked the lee cloth into place.

“So I have to be cool?” Jamie sounded slightly overwhelmed. 

“No, just be yourself. It doesn’t matter what you do, they will think it’s awesome.” He stroked Jamie’s back, “You don’t need to make any decisions right now. But how do you feel right now?” 

“I don’t have to call him Dad and he doesn’t replace Mommy. So what does it actually change?” 

“Nothing really, it just makes it a little more permanent. I can’t marry him, Texas doesn’t allow it. We can’t have a civil partnership. So it’s not really about Jared adopting you it’s about you adopting him. It makes us all a family, before the babies even come.” Jamie leaned up and just looked at him. “What?”

“You’re being stupid.”

“What?” asked Jensen. 

“You got me all nervous for nothing. You talked about dying and legal stuff and it sounded scary and like stuff was going to change. And now you’re saying it’s about being family?”

“Yeah.”

“I brought him to Bring a Parent to School Day. I go on date night with him when you’re sick or when you went to LA. It’s already done. Just sign the papers.”

“It’s not nice to call someone stupid.”

Jamie smiled, “You’re smart; I didn’t say you’re stupid. I said you’re being stupid.”

Jensen chuckled, “You’re siblings are never going to win a fight.”

“We should call Jared. His message said to call him back and he knows we’re talking about this.” 

Jensen reached over the lee cloth and into the bedside drawer where he’d dropped his phone. He put it on speakerphone as Jared picked up, “Hey, Jen, how are you?”

“I’m good. You’re on speakerphone.” Jensen stretched out on the bed holding the phone between them. He told Jared about being on speakerphone right away because usually the next question out of his mouth would be, “What are you wearing?”

He heard the way Jared’s voice changed, “Oh, hi, Jamie. How are you, baby?” 

“We had a really good show. You can adopt me, Jared, Daddy told me.”

“Are you sure, baby?” said Jared. “Because I won’t be upset if you don’t want to do it.”

“No, it’s cool. We can talk about it on Skype tomorrow with Annie.” 

“Good plan.” There was a murmur and Jared says, “Chad says ‘hi, boys.’”

“‘Hi,’ back,” said Jensen. 

“We’ve been swimming. Sophia had to go visit her mom so we figured we should be alone together. But we need to go to bed soon we both have to up around four. Chad looks like he might pass out right now.”

Jensen chuckled, “Okay, go put your best friend to bed. We’ll see you tomorrow on the Skype.”

“Love you both,” he said. 

“Love you too, Jay,” said Jensen. 

“Night, Jared,” said Jamie. 

“Night, baby,” said Jared before he hung up.

Jensen turned off the light and asked, “You gonna be able to sleep?” 

Jamie nodded and threw an arm around Jensen and his lion, “When do we have to wake up?” 

“Annie’s appointment is at eleven. So ten fifty.” Jensen cuddled up close as Jamie set his watch’s alarm. 

“I like how you make sure we have stuff to do but I also love sleeping late,” Jamie said as he rubbed his face against the pillow. Jensen fell asleep quickly and was woken not by Jamie’s alarm but by his cell phone. 

“H’lo?” he asked. 

“Jen, the appointment is in a half hour. How are you still asleep?” asked Jared’s bubbly morning voice. 

“Jared, you know you’re the only morning person. I’m webcaming the appointment I was just planning on rolling out of bed.” He climbed over Jamie and the lee cloth and put on his glasses. He slipped into flip-flops and exited the bedroom. “Fine, I’m up.” He padded down the stairs in his PJ’s and said, “I’m gonna get some coffee.”

“Are you going to craft in your PJs?” 

“One thing tours teach you is immodesty. The number of people who’ve seen me half naked backstage makes going to craft in PJs really not a big deal.” There was a coffee station. He poured himself a cup and added his milk, “Did you have fun with Chad last night?”

“Yeah, Sophia said no again so we swam and ate snacks and hung out.”

“Oh, poor Chad,” Jensen groaned as he took a sip of his coffee. 

“Don’t make porn noises while I’m driving, Jen, it’s just not fair.”

“You’re driving?”

“I’m on hands free, don’t worry. I miss your porn noises.” 

“You’ll be back soon then you can hear them in person but actually Jamie slept with me last night so you couldn’t have heard them anyway.”

“Is he okay?” 

“I fucked up when I asked him if he wanted to be adopted. I started by talking about what would happen if I died.”

“Fuck, Jen. Seriously?”

“Yeah, he was freaking out. But then when we talked about the fact that it makes us legally a family he said I was being stupid and said it was cool. He pointed out that he brought you to school as his parent over a year ago. But I think me talking about dying put him in a bad place so we cuddled.” 

“You’re an idiot.”

“I know, my seven year old called me out on it.” Jamie wandered in with the dogs. “Oh, the baby and the dogs just came in, we’ll see you soon.” 

“You have twenty minutes.”

Jensen rolled his eyes, “Chill, Jay.” 

“Bye.” 

Jensen got Jamie some eggs and they sat down as Jensen ate some toast and the dogs ate their bowls of kibble. Jamie’s alarm went off just as they were finishing up. A PA offered to take the dogs for a run which Jensen gladly accepted as they went back to the bus. They didn’t get dressed instead Jensen turned on the computer and opened the Skype. It was set to record. 

It was only a couple of minutes before it flickered into life and Annie was waving and saying hello. Jared was next to her, grinning, and Annie said, “You smell of bread, it’s really nice.”

“Thanks,” said Jared, “I’ve been baking for today’s meals.” 

The doctor smiled at them, a blonde bubbly little woman called Allison Mack. She’d been Tricia’s OB-GYN too. “So before we begin let’s talk, we’re using a 3D ultrasound. This gives us a better picture of the babies. Usually I wouldn’t use it but with twins it’s a good call. Using the 3D ultrasound will make it very clear, even at this stage, we’ll be able to see gender. Is that okay?” 

“That’s fine,” said Jensen, “we really want to know. Don’t we, boys?” 

“Yeah,” said Jared. “We don’t care we just want to know.” 

“I want sisters,” said Jamie. It was the first time Jamie had expressed the desire. Jensen felt badly that Jamie had been feeling left out and that this was the first time he’d shared the thought.

“Why’s that?” asked Allison.

“Because when they get older they aren’t going to want to touch my good Transformers. Plus, Daddy said when you have little siblings they think your cool. But I don’t do anything that’s really boy-ish cool. I play instruments and Mary makes me paint her nails and I’m good at it. I think that will make me cooler to girls than boys.”

Jensen weighed the statement, “I think you’re probably right. But boys will think you’re cool because you’ll date way before them and have cool friends… They will want to touch your good Transformers.”

Allison was smiling, but then she was always smiling, “Okay, well, let’s see what we have going on at fifteen weeks and three days.” Annie laid back and pulled up her shirt. Allison grabbed a tube of gel and said, “This is going to be cold.” 

Annie just grinned, “I can’t wait to see them.” Then the screen started up and Annie said it best, “Jesus Christ, they look like real babies, I mean, still kind of unformed but… Jesus.”

Allison was smiling, “Both your girls are looking healthy and good.” 

“Girls?” said Jared beaming. “You’re getting sisters, Jamie!” Jensen gave Jamie a high five.

“As I said,” Allison smiled, “you can see the heartbeats and look, baby number one is sucking her thumb. They look very sweet all cuddled up like that. I am willing to say that they are definitely fraternal because of the separate amniotic sacs and placentas.”

“What does that mean?” asked Jamie. 

“They aren’t identical,” said Annie. 

They watched the ultrasound, just looking at the babies. They also talked about Jared adopting Jamie and Annie said that she would start on the paperwork that night. Finally Allison said, “I’m going to print out some pictures for you. We’re going to have another ultrasound in eight weeks. With the 3D we’ll be able to see fingernails and eyelids, everything. Your girls are healthy and developing exactly the way they should be.” 

Jensen just beamed, “Awesome. Thank you, Annie, for doing everything: legal and physical.”

Annie was wiping the gel off her stomach and smiled, “Jared is taking me out to a fantastic lunch and he brought me the necklace you boys got me at that archeology place. It’s so pretty.”

“I picked it,” said Jamie.

“All silver and turquoise, very me. If I’d known carrying someone else’s twins meant meals and presents I would have done it way back.” 

Jared said, “Seriously though, thank you.” 

Annie smiled, “You’re welcome. You boys have a good tour; I’ll send Jared back to you soon. We’ll call Mom and Dad and Jared’s parents. Jen, call yours.” 

“Yeah totally. Bye guys. Thanks, Allison.” Jensen stopped recording and turned off the Skype. “So, Jamie, you got the girls.” 

Jamie smiled, “I think girls will think I’m cooler.”

“I think you’re really cool, Jamie. You’re an international musical sensation, you’re interested in cool thing like the Transformers and you’re funny.”

“Food allergies aren’t cool. Kids make fun of them. Boys make fun more than girls.” 

Jensen sighed, kids were mean, there was no getting away from it. But even knowing that it was a universal thing didn’t make it easier. “Well kids can be mean, it’s sort of like testing the limits of normality: it tests where social boundaries are… They’re jerks. Mean kids can always find something to make fun of someone for. When I was a kid they made fun of my weight and my glasses. They made fun of Jason for having a little bit of a stutter and LeAnn for having psoriases. Kids are jerks, but look at us now. We’re all good as grownups.”

“Yeah, but your stuff went away and LeAnn’s doesn’t stop her from doing stuff. My allergies are never going to be totally better.”

“No, but they’ll get better over time. We’ll see if we can find a couple more restaurants to go to. You’re siblings aren’t going to make fun of you.” He stroked Jamie’s hair. He didn’t like it when Jamie felt badly about himself and he wanted to cheer him up. “Guess where we’re playing our classical concert?” Jamie just looked at him and shrugged, “Carnegie Hall.” 

Jamie lit up, “Seriously?” 

Jensen nodded, “And we’re sold out. How many kids who make fun of you have sold out Carnegie Hall?”

“None.”

“Exactly. So if anyone makes fun of you next year just say, ‘What did you do this summer? Because I was playing a nationwide concert tour for over a hundred thousand people closing out in one of the most prestigious concert halls in the county.’ Then you take a breath, keep eye contact and repeat, ‘What did you do this summer?’ And once you’ve done that turn away without waiting to hear their response. Everyone has something they can be made fun of: they can make fun of your allergies and you can make fun of their not being awesome.”

Jamie smiled, “Carnegie Freaking Hall!” 

“Carnegie Freaking Hall!” repeated Jensen. “Now, I need to call the grandparents. Should I put them on speakerphone or do you want to watch some TV or read a book?” 

“Read a book, there’s nothing good on the Food Network at this time in the morning on weekdays. It’s stupid Claire Robinson pulling faces.” Jamie went upstairs.

Jensen called his parents and told them about the girls. Jamie came downstairs carrying a book and stretched out on the floor as Jensen chatted. He heard a knock at the door and said, “A PA took the dogs for a run I think he’s back. Gimme a second,” he opened the door and saw Bobby Singer looking worried with the dogs. “It’s important, actually, I have to go. Would you please let Mack and Josh know the news?” His parents agreed and he hung up. “Hi, is everything okay?” He waved the guy inside.

The dogs barreled in and went to lick Jamie as though it had been way more than an hour and a half. The guy looked at Jamie. Everyone on the tour had quickly learned not to condescend with Jamie, he was intelligent and he didn’t like to be spoken down to. Now the man said, “Jamie, may I please talk to your dad alone for a couple of minutes?”

“Sure,” Jamie left, going upstairs.

“What’s up?” asked Jensen as he crossed to the couches and motioned for the man to sit down. 

“Hilary Duff may or may not be pregnant according to paparazzi. She went home to Dallas and the paparazzi have been hiding around OB-GYNs to try and get a picture.” He looked so worried and freaked out. 

The laugh couldn’t be stopped and Jensen felt a little bit badly for laughing while the guy looked ill. Jensen shook his head, “Sorry. Let me guess: Jared and Annie were caught by TMZ going into Dr. Allison Mack’s office. Annie’s obviously pregnant which she wasn’t when we started touring. And you’re here to gently tell me that TMZ is shouting that Jared’s cheating on me with my sister-in-law.”

“E! Entertainment,” said the guy looking less like he was going to puke. 

“She’s our surrogate mother. She’s pregnant with twins for Jared and me. She’s the aunt not the baby momma.” 

The man breathed out, “Oh, thank God, I did not want to break this news to you.” 

Jensen laughed, “Want a soda?” 

“That would be great,” the man nodded, “A Coke if you have one.” 

Jensen grabbed them both a Coke and called up the stairs, “Jamie, you can come down now.”

Jamie bounced down the stairs and said, “What was it? Can I know?”

“Apparently E! thinks Jared’s cheating on me with Annie.”

“That’s stupid. Jared’s gay and everyone knows Annie’s dating Jason. She’s been holding his hand at, like, huge parties. Everyone knows when you’re dating someone famous and Jason’s really famous. Is it because of them going to the baby doctor?” said Jamie. Jensen nodded and Jamie turned to Bobby. “We just did an ultrasound and I’m getting sisters!” 

The man smiled as he drank his soda, “I am so happy for you guys. I was really worried about it. Now I just have to figure out a PR solution.” 

“The film crew was taping us at dinner last night while Jared was saying goodbye. We talked a lot, in detail about the appointment. I’m sure they have footage, get it to E! and force them to run it. We can have this cleared up before the show tonight.” Jensen smiled but added, “Please do not tell anybody that they’re girls. We haven’t told everyone yet.”

The man nodded, “Absolutely. Sound check is at six forty-five and the show starts at seven.”

“Great,” said Jensen, “we’re having a quiet day to day, hence the fact that I’m not even dressed yet. We’ll be around if you need us.”

“I’ll let you know when I’ve sent the film to E!”

“Thanks,” said Jensen and showed the man out. Turning to Jamie he said, “Will it upset you if I watch the crappy fake news to see what they’re saying?” 

“Won’t you be?” asked Jamie. 

“Yeah, but I still want to know. It’s just lies. It doesn’t mean anything at all. We know the truth.” 

“Annie’s a girl, it makes it even stupider. I mean, they could have at least picked a guy.” 

Jensen nodded, “I know. Would it be okay if I watched it?” 

“Yes,” said Jamie going back to the floor with the dogs. 

As he turned on the TV Jensen sent Jared a text that said, “E! says you’re cheating on me with Annie… you bastard. Haha, don’t worry it’s all in hand, enjoy marathon cooking.” He switched the TV to E! the dogs barked at seeing Jared as Jensen sank down on the couch to watch. There was footage of Jared hugging Annie and kissing her on the cheek before opening the door for her they were laughing and standing close. There was nothing sexual about it. Jared texted him back, “Annie’s hot and all but she has a vagina and no stubble. And I’m pretty in love with you, your dick and your five o’clock shadow… I wish I was licking you, chin or dick, right now. Annie says ‘hi.’” 

Some talking head, not Ryan Seacrest who was the only one Jensen knew by sight, was talking about how close Annie and Jared were. They had pictures of Annie going into JT’s by the kitchen door and pictures of her letting herself into their house. As he watched Jensen sent a mass email to all of their friends saying, “The babies are girls! E! thinks Annie and Jared are having an affair because they went to a gynecologist together (the least romantic date ever) but the camera’s got a really great angle and they look fantastic. Hope to see you all soon, Jensen and Jamie.” 

Replies were fast in coming but Jensen switched from his email to his music program he was writing a new song. He’d been working on it for a few days. Without sound he wrote down the notes in his head as he watched them rehash old-old news about how he’d been outed, about Tricia and him getting married, about her dying and Jensen disappearing. He hoped Hilary Duff was grateful that they were taking the heat off of her. Jensen let the droning wash over him as he wrote. 

Muting it he said, “Jamie? Listen to this for me?” 

Jamie sat up and nodded Jensen hit the play button and sang along with the song all about change and growing up and confidence. As it was written it was too high for Jensen so he dropped the key for him to sing it but Jamie saw what was happening and said, “Is this for me?” 

“Yeah, your next CD. If you want it?”

“Yeah, I want it. Can I sing it? Fix the key?” Jensen reset the key, put the song back to the beginning and handed the laptop to Jamie. Jamie sang, watching the screen once it was finished he said, “I love it.” 

“The nice thing about this is, you can drop the key when your voice breaks.” 

“What happened when your voice broke?” 

“I changed very, very slowly so it was okay, no cracks. Sometimes it comes all at once and then you crack for a while. Your Uncle Josh cracked for months.” Instead of laughing Jamie looked scared. “What’s wrong, baby?”

“I won’t be able to sing for months,” said Jamie. “I won’t be able to do this.” 

“This is just a summer thing, baby. It might happen during the school year. Or we could just record an album then. When you do an album you can do as many takes as you like until you get one without a crack. There’re lots of tricks.” 

“Yeah?” 

Jensen nodded, “That is years off, don’t worry about it yet.”

“Can I try out your software? I won’t break it.” 

“Sure,” Jensen handed over the computer and watched the TV, though it was muted. They were showing old footage, him and Tricia at a club doing shots. Jensen remembered the night. Tricia was leaning against him obviously tipsy. She wasn’t twenty-one in the footage, but they were taking a night off from touring together one summer. He smiled looking at her. “You’re mommy was the most beautiful woman in the world, y’know that?” Jamie looked between the screen and Jensen and nodded. “And you look so much like her.”

“Everyone says I look like you.” 

“No, you have my eyes, and nose, and mouth and some day you’ll have my jaw. But you have Mommy’s round face, and her cheeks, her ears, and dark, straight fine hair and her eyebrows and none of my freckles.”

“Do you think the girls will look like Mommy?” asked Jamie.

“Probably, we’ll see.” 

Jamie hit the play button and the sound that came out wasn’t at all like music. “I don’t get how this program works.” Jamie handed the computer over to him as someone knocked.

“Yeah,” Jensen called. 

Bobby came in and said, “It will be on at the very beginning of the next news cycle.” 

“Thanks,” said Jensen, “that’s great.” Looking at his watch he said, “About ten minutes then.” 

“Do you guys need anything?” asked Bobby, he still looked like he was waiting for Jensen to lose it. 

“We’re good,” said Jensen. “We’re just chilling. We’ve had so much excitement recently. We just need a day with TV and vegging out. Sadly, this sort of TV wasn’t what I was thinking of. But whatever, you need a day to stay in PJs every once in a while especially when you’re on tour. We’ll bathe, I’ll shave and put in my contacts, we’ll eat some dinner and go on stage. Today is not a big day.” Bobby took his cue to leave and Jensen turned on the sound as Jamie started to gently wrestle with the dogs. 

The talking head was now talking about Jared and how maybe he wasn’t all that gay. Jensen felt himself rolling his eyes. And then it was Ryan Seacrest saying, “We have news this hour including a recorded statement from Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki.” He looked irritated, “So once we watch that and get this — which has to be a misunderstanding — out of the way we’ll get on to some news.” Someone asked him a question, the person wasn’t miked but Ryan Seacrest replied, “Jared was closeted, he came out to cook for Jamie Ackles. He was a minor league celebrity and it totally upended his life and upset the ratings of his show. That’s not a stunt or a phase; it’s damaged his brand. And he’s having an affair not only with a woman but with his boyfriend’s sister in-law? Please. Adrianne Palicki is also very publicly dating Jason Manns. It’s ridiculous.” He sighed, “Let’s watch this.” 

Jensen really liked Ryan Seacrest in that moment. Jamie lifted his head to watch them on screen. “I miss Jared,” he said. 

“Me too, baby,” said Jensen. “We’ll see him tomorrow.” He watched them talking about why Jared was going home, about Annie being a surrogate for twins, about the fact that Jensen and Jared were the parents, about the fact that they were going to Skype the appointment and Jamie asking Jared to kiss Annie for him. It ended with Jared saying goodbye and kissing Jamie’s cheek and kissing Jensen deeply.

Then it cut to Ryan Seacrest who said, “There you go. Moving right along from that non-story, Lindsay Lohan has broken the terms of her probation.” Jensen turned off the TV. 

“Well, I’m glad that’s over.” To Jamie he said, “How are you, baby?” 

“Good. Can we please watch something fun now? Despicable Me?” 

“Sure, you know I love that movie.” 

“That’s because you like to pretend you’re Gru.”

“I want a freeze ray. I like him; I think he’s got the right idea.”

“That’s just because you can be really grouchy.” Jensen laughed and moved to the TV to put in the DVD. “Plus sometimes you can be mean when people irritate you. Like when you kicked Jared out when you first met him.”

“I kicked Jared out because I was annoyed and scared.” 

“Why were you scared?” asked Jamie as the previews started. 

“Because I liked him and that really scared me because I didn’t want to get hurt by dating. I hadn’t dated anyone since Mommy died and I was scared.”

“Thankfully he’s tinishous,” said Jamie with a smile.

“Great word, but it’s said tenacious.” Jamie repeated it a few times as Jensen clicked through the DVD menus to actually start the movie. 

“Daddy?” asked Jamie sounding thoughtful.

“Yes, baby?” 

“Why do Chris and Steve pretend that they aren’t dating?” 

Jensen sighed, “Y’know, I love it when you ask me questions because it makes me feel so smart that I can answer them. But that’s a hard one… most of their fans like them because they’re handsome. And those fans have crushes on them. It’s harder to be a heartthrob when you’re gay. Fans like to pretend that if they met you, you would fall in love with them. When they know you’re gay they can’t pretend that. Chris and Steve don’t have any kids, and they don’t mind keeping it a secret. They like being heartthrobs and it’s not important to them that people know the truth.” 

“Do you wish people didn’t know you’re gay?”

“I didn’t want them to know when I was seventeen; I wasn’t ready for them to know. But now? I have you and I have Jared and I would never want you to have to keep a secret and I wouldn’t want to teach you to hide who you are. So, no, I don’t care that they know I’m gay even though sometimes people are mean but I do understand why Chris and Steve keep it a secret.” Then, as Gru was introduced, Jensen started to sing along with the song.

Jamie laughed, “I bet the people at the Oscars thought you were joking when you said you liked this song.”

“It’s my theme tune, baby.” 

~~~

While Jared enjoyed his time in the kitchen he was ready to get back to his boys. He’d seen the E! coverage and wanted to be with the boys. Chad slept over again that night and they both got up before first light to go to their respective jobs. Jared baked all the bread and did all the prep for lunch but left once Elisha got there. He took a shower and phoned Chad who went to get a present for Jensen during a break midmorning while Jared stopped in at Annie’s office to pick up the legal papers she’d drafted for him. She smiled at him, “Hello, lover boy.”

“Hi, sexy mistress. How are you feeling?”

“I finished puking at about six this morning and ate a salmon sandwich, so y’know: normally scheduled pregnant life. Allison assured me I’ll stop vomiting soon.” 

“Good,” he nodded and smiled. “Adoption papers?” 

She handed him a manila envelope, “I have marked everywhere you and Jen need to sign. When you’re done send them either registered mail or by courier and I’ll get them processed. It could take a couple of weeks.”

He took them and said, “Thank you so much, Annie. This means so much to me. And you’re carrying my babies. I’ll never be able to thank you enough.”

She studied him, “After Tricia died I was really scared for Jensen. He was depressed for so long. He was like a shell. I worried that one day it was all going to become too much and even though he loves Jamie so much… there were times when I felt like I was dealing with suicide watch. You’ve made him so happy; you brought him back. You don’t need to thank me for anything and you sure as hell don’t need to thank me when you’re giving my nephew and nieces a second parent.” She smiled a watery smile and sniffed. “Fuck, I hate my pregnancy hormones.” He laughed, “Get out: I have work to do.” 

He met up with Chad who handed him a black bag with a box in it and said, “Here you go, pervert.”

“Thanks, dude.” 

“Whatever, man. Thanks for hanging out with me so much, last night and the night before. You know I don’t do well on my own.” 

Jared slept through the flight, he’d been up since four. When he landed he saw Clif with a sign that said Jared, in glittery blue letters and he smiled at the guy, “The boys got bored without me?” 

Shrugging Clif said, “I think the sign speaks for itself. Your dogs are in the car.” 

Jared felt how big his smile got, “Awesome!” They went out to a covered parking garage where the dogs were waiting in the cooled SUV for him. They reacted as though he’d been away for a hell of a lot longer than forty-six hours but he lavished them with attention too. 

When they got to the tour bus and the whole camp he spotted Jamie first and Jamie sprinted to him and hugged him, “We missed you.” 

“I missed you too, so much.” He crouched down and pulled things out of the paper bag that had been his only luggage. “Here’s your Kane guitar pick: it was underneath the piano and here is a new shirt from Chad.” On the front it said, “My Sisters Worship Me” and on the back it said, “You Should Consider Worshipping Me Too.” 

Jamie laughed, “That’s awesome!”

“He thought you’d like it.” He pulled out the manila folder and said, “These are the adoption papers. We don’t have to do this if you don’t want.” 

“You and Daddy can’t get married. But I can adopt you as my parent and that makes us a real family… like, legally.” 

Jared hugged him close, “I love you so much, Jamie, and I would be so proud to be your parent.” 

Jamie hugged him back, “I love you too, Jared.” 

“Is this a hug by invitation or can anyone join?” asked Jensen and Jared released Jamie to turn and hug him.

“Hi,” said Jared before kissing Jensen slowly, enjoying the feeling of home he got from the action. Pulling back he asked, “Did you do something cool and touristy today?” In two days they would hit LA, but today they were still in some small magnet town with a huge arena. 

Jamie nodded, “This morning we saw the second largest ball of twine in the continental US.” 

“Is there a larger one in Hawaii or Puerto Rico?” Jared asked but Jensen just laughed. 

Shrugging the shorter man said, “This place is kind of dead; it was the only place that was even remotely worth visiting. We needed to get out for a couple of hours.” 

“Tomorrow,” said Jamie, “Daddy got us all tickets to see a skating exhibition.” 

“Cool, like Stars on Ice?” 

Jensen started laughing, “Oh my God, and E! thought you could have an affair with a woman.” 

“Not like Stars on Ice then?” asked Jared. 

“It’s skateboarding, and bikes, and rollerblades and roller skates. It’s like offseason X Games. They’re getting ready because the X Games are at the end of July.” said Jensen. 

“It’s gonna be epic,” said Jamie. 

Jensen snorted, “Stars on Ice,” and started laughing again. 

“Hey, I almost married a girl.”

“When you were seventeen and trying not to be gay? How did that work out for you?” asked Jensen.

“Not very well,” Jared nodded.

Jensen laughed again, “Want to play karaoke with us?”

“Have the dogs had enough exercise?”

“The the second largest ball of twine in the continental US is outside, they ran around a lot.” 

“Cool.” 

So they spent the afternoon playing with the karaoke machine and dancing like idiots. The dogs got pretty into it and were prancing around them. They signed the papers and asked Bobby to send it back. Then it was time for dinner and sound check and the concert and Jared loved it all. That night they went to bed early. Jared was grateful for that. He stripped naked and pulled off Jensen’s clothes. “Brought you a present,” he said and Jensen smiled at him.

“Is it your dick? Because I really missed that,” Jensen said and kissed Jared slowly. 

“Kind of actually.” He got the small box from the bag. He nuzzled against Jensen’s shoulder as Jensen opened the box. “You smell so good.” He licked and nibbled at Jensen’s clavicle, “Taste good too.” 

“Jay,” said Jensen holding the leather strap with fasteners, “is this a cock ring?” Jared was still nibbling on Jensen’s shoulder and made as assenting noise. “You complaining about my stamina?” 

“No, mine. Want to take you long and hard but I come faster than you, I don’t get as long as I want.”

“Yeah, but you have the recuperation time for a teenager. I like marathon sex.” 

“I like you,” responded Jared. 

“I can’t believe you bought this.”

“You kidding? After yesterday there was no way I was going into a sex store. Chad got it for me. I didn’t want Ryan Seacrest to comment on it.” 

“Good call.” 

“I want you, Jen.” Jared kissed him gently. “Can I have you?” 

“Fuck yeah.” Jensen wrapped his legs around Jared’s waist. “Long and slow. I haven’t gotten laid in over two days.” 

“And for long and slow I need a cock ring.” Jensen stroked him to hardness and placed the cock ring firmly around the base of his erection. “Now I don’t have to rush to get into you before I come.” 

He proceeded to open Jensen with tongue and fingers. And it could be slow and lingering. Jensen was stroking his hair and moaning low in his throat and the sound made Jared feel hot under his skin. “I love you, Jared, I would marry you if I could.” 

“I’m adopting Jamie, it’s very nearly the same thing. In my mind we are married.” 

It felt so good to kiss Jensen all over and make him writhe. Jared loved driving the controlled man crazy. Jensen grabbed his head and pulled him up to kiss him needily. “Feels good,” said Jensen, “Don’t stop, Jay.” 

Jared really did enjoy Jensen’s mouth and Jared kissed him with abandon, “Oh, God, you’re gorgeous.” When he was ready, when Jensen was begging and moaning, he opened a condom, lubed up and slid into his tight hole. Jensen bit his shoulder and Jared groaned. It was slow but hard and Jensen was just moaning the whole time. Jared made an effort not to babble so that he could listen to the breathy noises. But even though he wasn’t babbling he praised Jensen for being so sexy and awesome and for feeling so good inside. 

He pulled back a little and pushed one of Jensen’s legs up to his chest to give him a better angle and Jensen moaned so loudly and Jared was glad, not for the first time, that Jamie was such a heavy sleeper. “Fuck, Jay, tha’s awesome.” 

Every time he went to stroke Jensen’s erection the other man would grab his wrist and said, “No, Jay, don’t want come yet. Don’t touch: I’ll lose it.” So instead he stroked Jensen’s nipples which made Jensen jump. Jensen held his ass and pulled him closer. Jensen moaned and begged, for more, more, more. After such a long time Jensen said, “Touch me, wanna come, please.” Jared obeyed him and Jensen came with a groan. Jared popped the fastener on the cock ring and came with a groan. He slumped on top of Jensen who ran his fingers through Jared’s hair and said, “That really was awesome. I think that’s the longest I’ve ever been fucked.” Jared chuckled against his neck, “I need to move my leg and you’re really heavy.” Jared eased out of Jensen and stood on shaky legs. He threw away the condom and grabbed a dirty tee-shirt to wipe them off. He pulled on pants and started to put on Jensen’s for him. He tapped Jensen’s hips and Jensen pushed them up a little so that Jared could pull the pants up for him. “Thanks,” said Jensen. “Come here.” He held out his arms and Jared slid back into bed. He curled up next to Jensen after fastening the lee cloth as Jensen said, “Great present. Seriously.” 

“Yeah, that was great.” Jared ran his fingers through Jensen’s sweaty hair. Jared yawned, “I’ve been up since four. Go t’sleep.” 

~~~

Jamie called for him at about seven and Jensen brought him to their bed. Jamie hugged him and Jensen stroked his back as they both fell back to sleep. He vaguely felt Jared climb over them both to get out of bed. At ten Jamie’s watch alarm went off and they got out of bed. The bus was parked and they went to craft services. Jared was there in sweats with the dogs who were panting. 

“How was your run?” asked Jensen. 

“Fantastic, got the dogs really tired,” said Jared as he ate some pancakes. “How did you sleep?”

“Good,” said Jamie, “can’t believe you got up so early.” 

Shaking his head Jared said, “Baby, seven forty-five isn’t the crack of dawn.” 

“It is in the summer,” said Jensen. 

“You two are so lazy,” said Jared. “Time is the exhibition?” 

“Two goes to five. Then we come back and get back on the bus because we’re going to need to drive for a really long time. This afternoon and tonight and into tomorrow morning. We’ll take stops for the dogs but otherwise we’re going to be on there forever.” 

“Can we bring the dogs to the show?” asked Jamie.

“Yep, as long as we keep them on their leashes,” said Jensen. “I think it’s going to be really cool.” 

They spent the morning bathing, eating and playing music. They played Jamie’s concerto a couple of times with the orchestra and then they went back to the bus and played pop music. It made Jensen smile when Jared joined in the singing. 

“What?” asked Jared. 

“Nothing,” Jensen gave him a brief kiss, “I love your enthusiasm.”

“Are you hinting at the fact that I can’t carry a tune in a bucket with a handle and written instructions?” 

“I didn’t say that,” said Jensen. 

“We love you even though you’re tone deaf,” said Jamie hugging Jared briefly before turning back to his guitar. He was looking at his hands and said, “We don’t mind. And we like it when you sing with us because you have fun.”

Jensen laughed while Jared rolled his eyes and said, “Thanks, guys. You make me feel so special.” Jensen laughed some more. 

They had a late, light lunch and borrowed an SUV to drive to the huge outdoors skate park. It had eighties punk blasting over the sound system. It was packed to the gills with kids — well teenagers — all of them were laughing and going quiet when they saw Jensen, Jamie, Jared and the dogs. “Why are they staring?” asked Jamie holding Jensen’s hand. 

“Because you’re very famous, Jamie. You live in an insular world in Texas and at school but you’re internationally famous and people recognize you. Come on, let’s look around.” There were also a lot of people with kids around so Jensen didn’t feel weird or worried that maybe it wouldn’t be appropriate for Jamie. There were lots of different types of pipes all of which had people in them doing tricks on anything with wheels and having fun. 

Jamie and the dogs were completely fascinated but Jensen and Jared were enjoying it too. After about a half hour a guy came over the sound system and said, “Bros, Bro-ettes and people who refuse to self-identity as either please move towards the grandstand bleachers around the vert ramp. There are no assigned seats. Do not run, push, or be a jerk about it. Just walk. We will get started once everyone is in. Pushing will get you kicked out.” The guy sound vaguely amused. “Management would like me to remind you that we have way more families here than usually so please keep the swearing and lewd acts to a minimum. That’s why I said ‘jerk’… tomorrow it will be business as usual.” Jensen was laughing at the guy as they went towards the bleachers. They sat down in the bleachers and the dogs settled at their feet. 

Turning to the guy behind them Jared said, “Am I blocking you?” 

“Nah, dude, you’re good,” said the guy. 

“Daddy?” asked Jamie. “Y’know how you have veto power with Santa?”

“Yeah, that’s why he’s not going to bring you video games until you’re thirteen.” Jensen nodded. 

“Will you veto it if I ask for a skateboard?” asked Jamie.

“Will you wear protective gear? Elbows, knees, wrists and helmet?” Jamie nodded. “Promise? No whining? No saying it makes you look lame?” 

“Promise.”

“Okay, baby, I won’t veto it.” 

“Cool, can we call Santa when we go back to the tour bus?” 

“Sure, if you like,” Jensen kissed the top of his head. As the poppy, punky nineties music ramped up, eight guys on skateboards dropped into the half-pipe. For the next two and a half hours they watched guys and girls do absolutely incredible things in the pipe. They screamed and cheered along with everyone else. Then they played one of Jensen’s earlier songs. He’d written it at summer camp after Kerr and it was an angry song but also earnest and catchy and totally fit the venue. 

“Daddy!” Jamie said excitedly and loudly enough so that some people turned to see what was happening. “This is one of your songs!”

Jensen nodded and smiled, “It’s nice to know that a song I recorded in ’97 is still relevant.” 

“Really?” asked Jared. “You think that a song playing at an X Games exhibition is relevant to the general public?” 

Jamie laughed and Jensen smiled, “You were a lot less snarky when we first met.” 

Jared shrugged, “Yeah, well, I didn’t used to live with you two. I wasn’t used to mockery being an everyday thing without malice: adapt or die, Jen. And I adapted.” Jensen laughed again as they watched some guy on a bike flip over twice before landing upright. “Whoa, that was awesome!”

As it ended they cheered and screamed as much as everyone else. Jensen and Jamie thought the music was really cool. It wasn’t something Jamie had really been exposed to and Jensen always enjoyed exposing Jamie to new music. They went to the merchandise kiosk where Jensen asked to buy a copy of the park’s soundtrack. The kid working there looked nervous as hell when he pulled one off the shelf. As he handed it over Jensen scanned the track list. It was a burned disk with a cover printed off a computer. 

Jensen saw the reason for the kid’s nervousness and smiled, “Do you seriously think I’m going to freak out because you have a song of mine on here? What kind of a jackwagon would get angry about a small skate park using their song? Sure, it’s illegal but on a scale of one to a hundred it’s, like, a one and a half. It’s not like you’re Napster. I think it’s pretty cool to be included.” The sticker said five bucks and Jensen slid the money over the counter. “Had a really great time today. Thanks.” He handed the CD to Jamie, “Here you go, baby. So you can remember.” 

Jamie smiled, “Awesome. Thanks, Daddy.” As they walked out Jamie was babbling about how cool it had all been and how he wanted to tell Tim and Daniel all about it. But he was yawning widely and looked like the adrenaline was wearing off after three solid hours of excitement. 

The car was parked about a quarter of a mile away and Jensen said, “Here, Jamie, I’m gonna give you a piggyback.” He bent down and Jamie climbed onto his back without protesting which showed how tired he was. They walked to the SUV and everyone clambered in.

As they drove Jamie drifted in and out of consciousness. “So Santa is going to bring a skateboard?” asked Jared. 

“If he’s good.”

“That was an awesome day out,” said Jared. 

“Way better than Stars on Ice would have been.” 

“You would have liked Stars on Ice once it started,” said Jared. “Then Jamie would have wanted ice skates for Christmas.”

“God forbid. I think it’s hard enough having gay parents in Texas without being an ice skater as well,” said Jensen with a laugh. 

When they got back Jensen carried Jamie to the bus. Jamie blinked awake, looked around and asked, “How long’d I sleep?”

“Maybe a half hour, not long,” said Jared. “Too much excitement.” 

Jamie was still blinking and yawning. “Can we still call Santa?” 

“Of course we can,” Jensen opened his cell phone and scrolled through his contacts selecting Santa from the list. 

It rang twice and then Josh picked up saying, “Hey, bro, what’s up?”

Jensen smiled at Jamie and gave him a thumbs up, “Hi, Santa, it’s Jensen Ackles. Jamie wanted to talk to you about Christmas.”

Josh changed his voice and said, “Ho-ho-ho, hand over the phone.” 

Jensen held out the phone and Jensen said, “Santa wants to talk to you.”

Jamie took the phone with a smile, “Hi, Santa.” Jensen could only hear half the conversation. “Yeah, I’m having a great tour… Yeah, I’m being good… Yeah, well we saw these skateboarders today and they were really cool. I want a skateboard and Daddy said he wouldn’t veto it if I wore all the protective gear… Yeah, they were really cool. There were lots of people of bikes and skates but the skateboards were the coolest. And Daddy got me a really cool CD of the music and I want to be able to skate… Uh-huh, I’ll be good… Yep, I promise… Okay, have a good summer, Santa.” He hung up and said, “Santa said yes, if I’m good.” 

Jensen smiled, “Awesome.” Taking the CD he put it into the sound system and said, “Let’s see what we’ve got.” Simple Plan blasted out at him and Jamie lit up. 

~~~

Jared was almost positive his head was going to explode. If he heard one more Blink 182, Offspring, NoFx, Green Day, P.O.D., Clash, New Found Glory, Ramones, Pearl Jam, Good Charlotte or Fall Out Boy song Jared might have to decapitate himself. Jamie was listening to so much skater music Jared wanted to cut his own ears off. The only ones he could stand were the punky ones by Jensen. But that was due to Jensen’s voice and they weren’t as shouty as the other. He didn’t hate the music, he usually liked it, he just couldn’t deal with the continual onslaught of noise. The only saving grace of the music was how much Jamie loved it. His enthusiasm was infectious and he played along with his keyboard or guitar and laughed all the while. He sang along with them except for the curses because Jensen didn’t “approve” of Jamie swearing. 

The five days in LA were a reprieve because they saw so many friends and were out of the bus for most of the time. They met up with Paris but not Misha. They went to the Soda Fountain with Katie and Suri, Michael and August, and James and Sullivan. Jamie loved hanging out with everyone. The Soda Fountain put up a picture of them on the wall and Jamie thought it was the coolest thing ever. Then they went across the country. The concerts were fantastic and Jared loved it, he loved being with his boys and all the tourist traps. 

One morning they got a call from Annie. Jensen listened and smiled and put her on speakerphone, “Say that again, Annie.” 

“Jamie, you officially have two dads. As of today you have legally adopted Jared.” 

Jamie threw himself at Jared and Jared hugged the hell out of him. “You’re mine now,” Jamie said. 

Smiling into his hair, Jared said, “I already was, baby. I love you exactly as much as I did yesterday because I couldn’t love you anymore than I already do.”

He vaguely heard Jensen telling Annie that she was missing the most adorable hug ever. Then Jensen must have hung up because suddenly he was being hugged by both his guys. Jared managed to get to a supermarket and cooked them a super special dinner of roasted veal loin with a chanterelle mushroom sauce and roasted potatoes with bacon and leeks. Jamie helped him cook and they tried to stay out of the way of the craft people who were actually supposed to be there. Jamie fell totally silent while eating which was always a good sign while Jensen was making borderline pornographic noises while chewing. Jared felt like the luckiest man in the world eating good food with his boys.

Finally they hit New York for the last eight days of the tour. Jared didn’t like New York much as a city because so many of the people had a shitty self-superior attitude that got under his skin. New Yorkers thought that no other city could possibly be as good. But, at the same time, he had so many happy memories of the city from college and it felt nice to be there with his boys. And Jared was thrilled that the tour was going so well and that it was going to be over. They were all starting to feel tired and it would be good to go home and do nothing for over a month before the school year started. 

They had three shows in a row. One was in the Delacorte Theater and then the next afternoon and night they played on the Great Lawn which was so fucking awesome. And they spent a lot of time rehearsing for Carnegie Hall, even practicing twice in the actual hall. The classical music was such a pleasure after all the skater tunes. They were backstage before the Great Lawn night show when one of the bouncers came and said, “Jared, there’s a girl who wants to come say ‘hi’ and she says she knows you? Name’s Alexis Bledel.” 

“Alexis Bledel?” asked Jensen. “Isn’t that your lesbian friend from pastry class who grew up in Houston?” 

Jared felt himself smile, “Yeah, I haven’t seen her wedding two years ago.”

Jensen smiled at the bouncer, “Please let her in.” 

When she got there Jared hugged her and lifted her up a little. She laughed and asked, “Have you gotten taller?” 

Jared shrugged, “Maybe.” He put her down. Turning her he said, “Alexis, meet my boys Jensen and Jamie. Jensen and Jamie, meet my cake friend Alexis.” 

She reached out to shake their hands and said that she was a huge fan. Jensen said, “I like your shirt.” He motioned to her tee-shirt, an old tour tee of his.

Jared saw it and rolled his eyes, “Alexis, you can’t wear a tee-shirt of someone when you’re meeting them.” 

Jensen rolled his eyes and said, “Ignore him, Alexis. When Jared met Jim Cameron he wouldn’t let go of his hand while rambling about Terminator. I like the shirt.” 

Alexis smiled, “I wasn’t, um, planning on coming back here when I got dressed. I was talking to Elisha on my way here and she said that Jared was on tour with you so I figured I had to try and say hello. And you guys are so awesome. How’s the tour been?” 

“Awesome,” said Jamie, “but we’re all kind of ready to go home.” 

She nodded, “I can’t imagine.” Turning to Jared she said, “Tomorrow’s your birthday. Happy birthday.” 

“Wow, I can’t believe you remember,” he smiled. “Thanks. I tried to convince the boys to go to a Broadway show but they said we have surprise plans.”

“Really cool plans!” said Jamie. 

Jensen grinned, “You’re going to love it so much more than a play.” 

“What is it?” asked Alexis. Jensen whispered to her and she grinned, “Jared, you are going to freak out.” 

Jared had been whining about wanting to know the plan for days and he knew he wasn’t going to get anywhere so he changed the subject. “How is your hot wife?”

“America is smoking,” she said with a solemn nod. Then she laughed, “She’s good. We’re opening our second bakery in two months. She’s a little panicky about it. She was supposed to be here but her sister went into labor about three hours ago.”

Jared laughed, “That sucks.” 

“Yeah,” Alexis nodded. “She ordered me to come and report back on the song list.” 

Jensen laughed at that and pulled a folded piece of paper out his back pocket. Jared recognized it as a hand written set list. “Do you have a pen in that huge purse of yours?” She fished one out for him. “America spelled like the country?” She nodded and he spoke as he wrote. “Dear America, we’re sorry you couldn’t make it tonight. Here is the set list as promised.” He looked at Alexis. “Are you guys free the night after tomorrow?” She nodded again and he went back to his note. “We’re sending Alexis home with backstage passes for the concert at the Garden. Congratulations on your niece or nephew! Love, Jensen and,” he passed the paper and pen to Jamie and Jamie signed it and gave it back to the shocked Alexis. He heard the warm up band finishing up their first set. “We’ll see you at the intermission.” 

Jared dragged the still stunned Alexis to the wing to watch his boys. It was a great concert and he said, “It’s good to see you,” as they danced to the music. 

“You too, you should come up more often.”

“You should come home to Texas every once in a while.” 

She shook her head, “I like being a lesbian in Brooklyn not Texas. I’m not going back.” 

He spent the night dancing with her and feeling more connected to the city than he had since graduating. Being at a concert reminded him of school!New York not the Network’s head offices!New York. Afterwards they went back to the bus and he and Jensen banged each other’s brains out and when they were lying together. Covered in each other’s come Jensen said, “It’s past midnight. Happy birthday, Jay.” 

And it was. They spent the morning in the park because the weather was gorgeous. They went to the zoo and had a good look around. Later they met up with Michelle and Mattie for a picnic and then in the afternoon they went to the Victorian Gardens Amusement Park where Jamie and Mattie went on all the rides. In the cab back to the bus Jared smiled, “You guys were right. Way better than a play.” 

Jensen raised an eyebrow, “Jay, that wasn’t the awesome part. That was just a day off in New York. We’re going home, eating dinner and then we’re going to the awesome part.” 

Jared was almost humming with excitement. It had already been such a good day. Dinner was good and there was a huge, tasty, birthday cake with his name on it and everyone sang to him and he blew out the candles. Afterward they went to get dressed and Jensen picked his clothes which all made him look a little trendier than usual. Jamie wore yet another Chad tee-shirt that said, “Ignore Me” on the front and “I’m Just a Roadie Who Looks Like Him” on the back and Jensen laughed, “That is so apt tonight, nicely done.” 

Clif took them to a back street. There was a bouncer in front of a totally normal door and Jared couldn’t figure it out. Jensen wouldn’t bring Jamie to some super exclusive nightclub, not even for a birthday. The bouncer opened the door for them and Jared realized that they were backstage at a concert. Not one of the huge venues that his boys played but a concert none the less. He heard the crowd but there was no music. He was wondering what was going on and then he saw the man. He felt his mouth go totally dry as Raine Maida walked over to them. 

Raine smiled widely and said, “Hi there. Happy birthday, Jared.” He shook their hands, “Jensen called me. I owed him a favor; he helped me with a song years ago. He said you and Jamie were huge fans and asked if you guys could come. And, as we’re huge fans of you guys, I said yes.” 

“I got Naveed fifteen years ago today on my twelfth birthday.” 

Raine smiled, “That makes me feel really old, man.” Then he turned to Jamie. “I know you’ve been in on this from the beginning but there’s one more surprise. Your dad says you know our discography by heart on the piano.” 

“You guys are awesome,” said Jamie. “I know all of them.” 

“Do you want to play a song with us? Just one because usually we don’t have a keyboard and people expect to hear them normally. So just one song. But would you like that?” 

Jamie looked as floored as Jared felt. “Seriously? That would be so cool.” 

“I think it would make it an even more special day for Jared,” said Raine.

And Jared nodded, “It seriously would.” 

The man handed Jamie a set list and Jamie didn’t hesitate, “I want to do Is Anybody Home? is that okay?” 

Raine nodded, “Let’s go into the green room and practice it a bit so you can get used to doing it with a band and on the keyboard we have.” Turning to the adults he said, “Why don’t you guys catch us up once Jared stops looking like he might faint? You can meet the rest of the band.” He and Jamie walked away with Jamie fanboying at him with rapid praise. Raine chuckled sounding amused. 

The minute they were out of sight Jared pushed Jensen against the wall, balling his shirt in his fists and kissing him hard and deep and as they broke apart panting he said, “Best birthday present ever, Jen, honestly.” 

Jensen smiled and stroked his cheek, “Glad you like it. You feeling ready to meet the rest of them?” Jared nodded and they headed down the hall to the green room just as Our Lady Peace’s opening band started. He was practically shaking with nerves as he chilled out with the band. 

Jamie practiced with them for twenty minutes playing the same awesome song over and over again until Raine nodded, “You really are amazing.” 

Jamie blushed and ducked his head and said, “You guys are so awesome and this is so epic.” 

They spent another five minutes talking about OLP’s tour and their tour and then the band went to play. They watched from the wings and Jared and Jamie danced and lip-synced and generally freaked out at how awesome it was and how close they were. Then about half way through the set Raine said, “In late 1996 I got stuck on a song. I really liked this young artist’s at the time. He was packaged as a heartthrob but his music had real depth. So I called him. It was about two in the morning, I was drunk and he was sixteen. I called his home phone number, his dad picked up and after a very long explanation of who I was he put his son on the phone. And Jensen Ackles helped me write a song that we finished at 4 in the morning and called it 4 AM.” The crowd cheered. Jared had never known that and he stared at Jensen, being amazed by the man all over again. “He never called me out on that. But he called me about a month ago and told me that today is Jared’s birthday and he’s a big fan. So they’re backstage. And Jamie’s a huge fan too. So, please welcome Jamie Ackles to the stage.” The crowd went crazy for Jamie as he went out. 

It made the whole thing even more awesome to see Jamie playing with OLP. He grabbed Jensen’s hand. He whispered, “Best present, Jen, I can’t believe Jamie’s playing with them.”

Jensen nodded and smiled as they finished the song and the crowd screamed and Jamie leaned into the piano mic and said, “Thanks, that was awesome.” He waved and smiled as he jogged off stage, straight to Jared who swooped him up in a hug and kissed his nose. “Happy birthday, Jay.”

“Thank you, baby, having you play with them was the best birthday present ever.” He hugged Jamie really tight and started dancing with Jamie still in his arms as they started playing Happiness and the Fish. Jamie giggled at the word “masturbating” and stopped lip-syncing when it hit the f-word. They enjoyed the rest of the concert and the band got the whole crowd to sing Happy Birthday with them for Jared. Afterwards Raine gave him a white tour tee-shirt that the whole band signed and Jared hugged all of them.

Jensen rolled his eyes and said, “Jared, just because they’re Canadian and polite doesn’t mean you’re allowed to get all up in all their personal space.” But the guys laughed. And they had a smaller version of the tee-shirt signed for Jamie too and his face broke into a huge grin as he thanked them. 

A car was waiting outside for them when they left and when they got back to the bus Jared turned to Jamie and said, “Are you as wired as I am?” Jamie nodded. “Go put on PJ’s and I’ll get the ice-cream.” While Jamie and Jensen got changed Jared got the ice-cream out of the freezer and the toppings. He made them a sundae and got three spoons. His boys came down and Jamie looked like he was flagging. As they sat down around the booth and dug into the sundae Jared said, “Thank you guys, that was the most awesome birthday present ever.” Then to Jensen he said, “I can’t believe you never told me you wrote with Raine Maida.”

“I knew you’d pester me to meet him and I wanted to save it for a special occasion,” Jensen kissed him deeply. “Now you know why Alexis was so impressed when I told her what we were doing.” 

Jared laughed and they finished up the sundae. And as they were finishing Jamie said, “Jay, would you please put me to bed? We can talk about the fact that we both touched Raine. Daddy isn’t as impressed.” Jensen laughed and hugged and kissed Jamie goodnight. Jared went with Jamie to supervise him as he brushed his teeth and climbed into bed. He made sure Jamie had his lion and was settled in before he sat on the bed. 

“We met OLP,” said Jared. “How cool is that?”

“I played with them,” said Jamie, “I played with them one of my favorite songs.”

Jared wrapped an arm around Jamie. “It was the best birthday ever.”

“I’m gonna keep my shirt nice. Are you going to wear yours?” asked Jamie. 

“No way, I’m getting it framed. I liked how my birthday was fun for all of us. I hate it when the birthday person is the only one who thinks it’s awesome. A birthday should be great for everyone. We went to the zoo, we saw Mattie and Michelle, and you and Mattie went on all rides, then we had cake and then, on top of all that awesomeness, we got to touch Our Lady Peace.” 

“It was awesome,” agreed Jamie. 

“Now, baby, you gotta get some sleep. It’s late and you have a show tomorrow.” He took Jamie’s wrist, “I’m turning off your alarm, sleep late.” He kissed Jamie’s forehead and then his cheek, Jamie hugged him one last time before Jared stood. “What CD do you want tonight?”

“Dublin, please.” Jared set up the CD and Jamie said, “Happy birthday.” 

“Thank you, sleep well.” He turned off the lights and said, “See you in the morning.”

“Love you, Jay.”

“Love you too, baby.” Jared shut the door and saw Jensen waiting in their bedroom doorway with the can of whipped cream. “That for me?” Jensen nodded. Jared sauntered to him and said, “Best birthday ever, Jen.” 

“I knew there was nothing physical that you wanted for your birthday so I figured that great night would have to suffice.”

“Suffice?” Jared laughed and kissed him. “More like amaze.” He pushed Jensen back to the bed. “And now we’re topping it off with food sex. That’s plenty physical. I love food sex.” They stripped each other quickly, kissing and groping. Jensen squirted whipped cream into Jared’s mouth, and then kissed him, sharing the whipped cream. And as Jared swallowed he said, “I couldn’t build a more perfect man from scratch. Christ, I love you.”

“You just love food sex.” 

“It’s more awesome with you.” Jensen squirted more whipped cream into to his mouth and kissed him again, licking cream out of his mouth. They spent the next hour licking cream off of each other. Then Jensen took him on his side, Jensen was curled around him, sucking hickeys into Jared’s neck and giving him an expert hand job that left Jared babbling about his birthday and music, food sex, hot chocolate and how good Jensen’s hands felt. He talked about why he loved tour and how awesome it was to be with Jensen. He loved that over the course of the tour Jensen’s hands had gotten calloused from all the stringed instruments and he loved those calluses. He came with a groan and kept writhing to get Jensen off. 

They were panting together. Jensen chuckled, “We’re sticky.” He slowly pulled out off Jared and then he licked his fist clean and then licked all the come off Jared’s abdomen and then, without swallowing squirted whipped cream into his mouth and kissed Jared, sharing the come and whipped cream with Jared. “You are awesome, Jay, happy birthday. The only thing that could make you taste better is whipped cream.” He stood up slowly and went to the bathroom bringing back a wet washcloth He cleaned Jared off and left again, coming back without the cloth. As he climbed into bed he said, “You’re awesome, Jay, I mean it. Happy birthday, you deserved having a good day. I know it’s hard for you to be away from the kitchen for so long.”

“I love being with you and Jamie more than anything. We have the show tomorrow,” he looked at his watch, “tonight. Then we have tomorrow off and then, drum roll please,” Jensen drummed his hands on Jared’s abs. “Carnegie Hall!” Jensen smiled and kissed him.

“Then we go home and recharge before school. And you can cook a lot while I’ll compose,” Jensen said, stroking his hand over Jared’s abdomen. 

“That sounds nice, it’ll be good to get home… I could also go for not listening to Good Charlotte for a while.” 

Jensen laughed, “Yeah, the punk is getting a bit tiring.” He rested his head on Jared’s chest. “Did you have a good birthday?”

“Best one ever. Miles and miles better than my worst. My sixth birthday we had a clown.”

“You’re terrified of clowns.”

“I did not know that until there was one in my backyard.” Jensen laughed, “Don’t laugh at me. It was one of the most frightening days of my life. I was so scared I almost fainted.” 

Jensen kissed him slowly then he turned off the light and pulled Jared close, “Night, Jay. No clowns here. Just you and me, post-birthday boy.”

Jared kissed him one more time, “Don’t talk about clowns when I’m trying to go to sleep.”

“I’ll protect you, gorgeous.” 

Jared was silent then he said, “I am pretty gorgeous.”

Jensen laughed, “Go to sleep, idiot.”

“A gorgeous idiot,” said Jared. Then there was light coming in the window. He sat up slowly and stretched. He kissed Jensen and then climbed over him. He went into the bathroom took a leak, washed his face, brushed his teeth and moisturized. Then he put on his drunk sport tee-shirt and went downstairs where he fed the dogs and made coffee. He drank his coffee and checked the time, the time zones made it too early to call the restaurant to check in. So he pulled on his shoes and took the dogs out for a jog. 

Back at the bus he showered and dressed before calling the restaurant to say hi and see how everything was going. The boys stumbled down the stairs around eleven and they went to get breakfast at craft. They went over to Carnegie Hall to do a rehearsal. The novelty of being in the hall had worn off enough that Jamie no longer ran around the place like a lunatic. Jared loved being only one of twenty people in the audience watching the show. He cheered after every song and five songs in Jensen called, “You’re being very vulgar, Jared. You’re supposed to just clap.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll do that on the night,” he called back, “right now I’ll be as vulgar as I like. Keep going: it’s beautiful.” 

The boys went back to playing with the orchestra and Jared kept up the cheering between songs. It was fun. Afterwards they went to the hotel where the orchestra was staying to go swimming in the pool. The bus was parked under the hotel in the lot for the time being. The dogs weren’t allowed to come and Jensen said, “The dogs are probably going to love being at home so they can swim again.” 

“I’m kind of ready too,” said Jamie. “I’m still having fun, but I’m ready to go home and hang out with Tim and Daniel in real life and not on Skype. And I miss Annie and everyone. But I’m gonna miss the bus.”

“The bus is awesome,” agreed Jared. “But what I’m going to miss is being two rock stars and their hanger-on. We go home and we’re back to being a kid on summer vacation, a singing dad who bakes and a cook who is way too fond of his dogs.” 

“I want to record my concerto,” said Jamie.

“I want to score a movie,” said Jensen. 

“I really want to get back to my kitchen to see what Paris and Elisha have done,” agreed Jared. 

“Also, when we go home, the pool has a diving board and toys,” said Jamie.

Jared nodded, “Okay, you’re both right: I can’t wait to get home.”

“Madison Square Garden and Carnegie Hall and then we’re on a plane.” Jensen dunked under the water and popped back up, raking his fingers through his hair. “We should go back to the bus and get cleaned up. We have to be at the Garden in three hours.” They climbed out of the pool and toweled off and put on robes. 

They cleaned up and grabbed a picnic from craft and went to Central Park with the dogs. They ate by the carousel, in the little park where dogs were allowed. It was a prime location for people watching but the problem was that people were watching them; it’s hard to unobtrusively study people when you’re eating with rock stars. Jamie went on the carousel after diner and then a car came to take them to the Garden. 

They had about an hour and they did a quick sound check and then went to makeup. In makeup the film crew came and asked them for final thoughts. They said they were excited for their last show and for Carnegie Hall. They said they were a little tired and ready to go home and Jamie said, “My Aunt Macky is going to have a baby soon and we want to be home for that.”

“We get cuddling practice before our twins come, right?” said Jared. Jamie nodded happily. 

“But we had a good tour didn’t we?” asked Jensen and Jamie nodded. “What was your favorite part outside of the concerts?”

Jamie thought about it. “Meeting Our Lady Peace? That was awesome, and playing with them was really awesome. But that’s concert-ish. I liked getting to see our friends who don’t live in Texas, that was really fun. But I think my very favorite bit that wasn’t music was when we went and saw all the skateboarders. Do you think Santa will bring one for Christmas?”

“If you’re very good, I’m sure he will,” said Jensen. 

Jamie shook his head, “No, I’m wrong. My favorite bit was when I adopted Jared as my parent and he cooked us a special dinner.”

Jared felt himself beaming, “That was my favorite bit too, baby. I love you.”

“I love you too, but you shouldn’t call me baby on camera. And when we go home we get to have a big barbeque with all our friends and it’s like a party for me adopting you. And everyone will stay for a whole week,” said Jamie. “Usually when we have barbeques during the year people only stay for a few days because they have to go do movies and stuff but it’s the summer time so we get to hang out for a whole week which is really awesome.”

“After that it’s nothing but chilling out. Playdates are cool but not too many sleepovers,” Jensen said. “You need to get rested before school starts.”

“And lots of pool time to get our tans right,” Jared said. “Nothing nicer than late summer in Texas.”

“So true,” said Jensen. 

“I’ll be able to going bike with my friends,” said Jamie. “I’ve missed all my friends and all our family.”

“Yeah, but did you like the tour?” asked Jared. 

“I loved it,” said Jamie. “Can we do it next summer?” 

“Maybe,” said Jensen. “We have to write new CDs, you can’t tour with the same stuff. We’ll see how we feel closer to the time.” 

“The babies are coming in November,” said Jamie. “Will that make a difference?”

“Nah, babies are easy to tour with. Mommy and I toured when you were a baby. You just need more adults with you to take care of them when you’re on stage. But as there are three sets of grandparents that isn’t really a problem. Babies don’t need as set schedules, there’s no school or anything to interfere with it. Maybe we’ll tour next summer, but no promises.” 

“It’s really fun,” said Jamie. “It’s like a road trip with showing off on stage.” 

Jared laughed but Jensen nodded, “That’s how I always felt about it… how I still feel about it.” 

“This has really changed my views on fame.” Jared spoke with a smile. “I really believed I was famous until this tour. But the way people look at you, watch you, it’s kind of creepy. We’ve have so many people taking pictures of us and following us. I’m glad I’m just some guy who cooks on TV.”

“A very handsome guy who cooks on TV.” Jensen nodded, “There won’t be anywhere near as much paparazzi when we go home. We’re sort of boring as celebrities. There’s no scandal around us. When we go home we’ll be back to normal. That’s the nice thing about being a grownup and a kid doing this, we’re not going to clubs or getting inappropriately drunk.” 

“You’re never going to do anything like that, are you, Jamie?” asked Jared.

Jamie laughed, “Don’t be silly.” 

Jensen smiled but said, “Right now it’s cute that you’re saying it but I’m telling you: there is no way you will ever get into controversy like some of these teen stars nowadays. I don’t know why their parents don’t step in.” 

Jared nodded, “All these young women, shoplifting, and drugs and going out without underwear. Young men beating people up and running roughshod over people? No way. Because we will be there.”

“And there will be consequences,” said Jensen. “That’s an important thing to remember. As you grow up people will tell you that you are incredible, they’ll tell you you’re different or better than other people. None of it is true. You have an amazing talent and you should very proud of yourself for all the work you do and all of your accomplishments but that doesn’t make you above the rules. It doesn’t make you any better than other people. There are laws are rules for a reason and all of this can go away in a minute.” 

“And we will if it’s necessary,” said Jared. “No more recording, no more tours.”

“We’ll lock the piano lid if need be,” said Jensen. 

“Really?” asked Jamie slightly wide eyed. “Did Grandma and Grandpa have the same rule?”

“Yeah, I remember once when Macky got her first boyfriend I wouldn’t stop teasing. I was teasing her a lot, I thought it was funny. I was fourteen and I didn’t see that I was really upsetting her. Grandma and Grandpa pulled me to one side and said, ‘Jen, if you don’t cut it out and apologize to your sister we’re canceling the tour.’ I knew they weren’t kidding. I knew that if I played up my parents would ground me just like everyone else’s parents. So I never did anything controversial, the only thing that ever painted me with any scandal was when my boyfriend sold his story to the papers and told the world I was gay before I was ready for that to be common knowledge.”

“Did Grandma and Grandpa make you stop touring for that?” 

“No, no, you don’t punish your kid for getting his heartbroken in a very messy public way. That’s, sadly, just a part of celebrity. I stopped touring for a little while but that was because I didn’t want to tour. It wasn’t a punishment. But for other stuff? Bad things, they would have made me stop touring. You have to behave and you’re grades can’t slip or else we can’t do this. Because, like anyone else, you can be grounded. School and behavior count, no matter how famous you are.” 

“I don’t know why all those kids do things that are horrible like stealing,” said Jamie. 

“Well, maybe they’re being pushed too hard. I think a lot of those kids are pushed really hard from a young age and they feel a little trapped,” Jared smiled. “If this becomes too much we stop. Adults talk about fallback plans you have the best fallback plan going: summer vacation and going to school. If this isn’t fun you go back to being a normal kid.” Jamie laughed. “What?” asked Jared. 

Jamie giggled as he said, “On that Toddlers and Tiaras they always have the mom saying, ‘When she doesn’t want to do this we’ll stop.’ And then they show the three year-old crying and not wanting to do it and the mom shouting at them and giving them coffee and pixy stixs to make them not tired.”

Jensen laughed, “Jamie, don’t tell people that we let you watch that trash. That’s stopping when we go home. It’s on way past bedtime. The only reason you’ve been able to watch it is because of time zones and touring schedules. And we’re at home you’re not inside as much. The bus has made you watch way more TV than usual. No more trash TV once we’re home.” 

“But it’s so funny,” said Jamie. “I’m never allowed coffee.” 

“It stunts your growth and has way too much caffeine,” said Jared. “When you’re tired you have a rest not coffee and sugar.” He smiled and said, “But we really mean it. If you don’t want to do this then we don’t do it. Not like the moms on that show who just say it.”

“It’s fun,” said Jamie.

“Good,” said Jensen. “But if it stops being fun then you stop. After Mommy died this wasn’t fun. So I taught music and was just your daddy who cooked every night. I enjoyed it. I liked teaching, I liked going to the grocery store and all that stuff and I liked being home with you. See, you can have a nice happy life without this. Touring isn’t the be all and end all of life.” 

“So there’s a good final thought,” said Jared. “It’s been awesome and we’ve had a great time. I have learned that I’m not really famous. We have watched bad TV on our awesome bus and we’ve done a lot of great things and seen friends. Jamie wants to do this again, if he behaves himself we can. And if he wants to quit that’s cool because, as awesome as this is, there is a whole world outside of this.” 

“But it was the best summer vacation ever,” said Jamie. “I loved it.”

“Y’know how Mr. Morgan took Tim fishing and he was really disappointed that Tim hated it because to him it was his favorite memory of being a kid?” asked Jensen and Jamie nodded. “Well touring isn’t my favorite memory of childhood, it was my childhood. I stopped going to school at ten and did this instead with lots of tutors. Touring and making CDs was my whole childhood and I’m so glad you like it.” 

“I don’t want to be homeschooled, at least not yet, I really like school,” said Jamie.

“I wasn’t even suggesting it, baby. I know you like school. Maybe someday you’ll want to do this all year maybe you won’t. I’m just glad you’ve had such a blast because it feels really great to share it with you.” 

“Best summer ever,” said Jamie. 

Jensen beamed, the happy smile he had whenever he was really proud of Jamie. “Two more shows and then home.” He held out his hand and Jamie gave him a high five. 

A PA put his head around the door and said, “Your friends are here.” 

And the camera guys said, “We have enough.”

“Are you going to take interviews before Carnegie Hall?” asked Jamie. 

The head camera guy shook his head, “No that’s going to be a separate DVD and it’s just going to be the concert and the rehearsals. We’re going to make that one serious.”

Jensen nodded, “That makes sense.”

~~~

Jensen could understand why Jamie was ready to go home. But he was still having a blast. While he was excited to go home he really only needed two weeks off then he would gladly go back on the road. He knew they had lives to go back to but this had been his world for so long. Now he was back he found that he missed it. They went out to see Alexis, America, Michelle and Mattie were outside. Jared introduced everyone and Jamie and Mattie messed about dancing to the warm up band and laughing with each other. Jamie was wearing his Rock God in Disguise shirt and was happy and when it was time for them to go out Jamie was practically skipping. They plowed into their play list pure energy, skill and pleasure. It was the usual joy and rush and Jensen loved it while it lasted. It passed in a haze of endorphins. During the break they had some nachos with their friends and Jamie changed into an old tee-shirt with Jensen and Tricia’s faces on it. The makeup artist came over and touched up their faces. “Last half, baby. Then the pop part’s over.”

Jamie nodded, “Can we do this next summer?” 

“Maybe, we have to see. Poor Jared hasn’t been in his kitchen in weeks,” said Jensen.

Jared nodded, “I have missed it but after this last season of the show I can spend so much time in my kitchen I won’t miss it as much.”

“See?” said Jamie.

“We’ll see,” said Jensen, “It’s a long way off.” They ate their nachos and Bobby came over smiling. 

“You guys are awesome out there. The crowd is eating out of your hand.”

Jamie smiled, “Thanks, it’s fun.”

The three of them moved off from the group which Jensen thought was good because it gave Jamie a little time to recover without Mattie’s excitement before going back to the stage. “We were just talking about maybe doing a tour next summer,” said Jensen smiling at him. “When you showed us the bus you said that you wanted us to have a good time so that we would want to work with you again.” The man nodded. “You’re the best tour manager I’ve ever had. And I’ve had a lot of tour managers. You’ve paid close attention to Jamie’s work schedule, you’ve researched tourist traps for us, you’ve been laidback, there’s been no shouting and no stress. You’ve been great. If we decide to do a tour next summer I’m going to get your company and you specifically if you’re available. Thank you, Bobby.”

“Wow, thanks that huge compliment. Who was the worst?”

“The one who told me, when I was eight, that I was too fat to be famous and I needed to go on a diet to remain famous. I was a naturally chubby kid, I grew out of it but at the time I was plump. Craft had these amazing chocolate mousse cups on that tour everyone ate them and my momma noticed that I wasn’t having one during the intermission while everyone else was. When she asked me why I told her what he’d said, and I burst into tears because he’d really hurt my feelings. My parents were pissed and by the next morning he was gone and we had a new manager who sort of reminded me on a camp counselor, really nice, really fun, not very competent nor anywhere near organized enough to do the job. But he was a really enthusiastic and friendly kid, couldn’t have been more than twenty-two, he taught me how to play cat’s cradle and make lanyards and friendship bracelets all of which are good skills when you’re on tour busses for hours. I think the company was actually dealing with all the work they just sent the most personable guy on the staff to make up for his predecessor.”

The guy said, “That’s awful. Y’know this tour has been one of my favorites. There has been so little drama. One little blowup with E! which wasn’t your fault, that was it. No drug overdoses or eating disorders calling for hospitalization and being called ‘exhaustion’, no abusive relationships with cops getting involved, no drinking, or too much partying. And no rocker ‘I’m better than everyone else’ attitudes. I once had someone throw a chair at me because the continental breakfast in their hotel didn’t have the right brand of coffee. All of Jamie’s dietary needs are real and not just someone jerking you around because they can. It’s much nicer doing research on tourist traps than needing to know where I can get your stomachs pumped of speed quietly and quickly at three AM.” 

Jensen smiled, “No, not something I ever really consider.”

“So, I know you need to get back out there but I just wanted to check that everything is okay for tomorrow. Any last changes we need to make?” 

Thinking for a second Jensen said, “I don’t want to play the violin on the etude ‘As We Know Too Well.’ I’m going to play the cello. But as it’s a solo and the instrument isn’t printed on the program I don’t think it’s an issue, is it?”

“No that’s fine, don’t worry. Jamie, anything?”

“I’m gonna wear the tux for Carnegie Hall, Daddy says that it’s too fancy not to.”

“And you’re okay with that?” said the man.

Jamie nodded, “But I have to wear my sneakers. Because I can’t play the piano in dress shoes.” 

“That’s fine, that’s great. I’m thrilled the tux gets a night out.” The warm up band were finishing up and Bobby said, “You boys better get back out there.”

“Thanks, Bobby.” Jensen reached out and took Jamie’s hand, “Come on, baby. Let’s go.” As they passed their friends Jamie hugged Mattie and Jensen kissed Jared. “See you in a bit.”

“Be awesome,” said Jared.

“Always,” agreed Jensen. Jamie skipped onto the stage and Jensen smiled. Switching on his mic he said, “You’re in a good mood.” Jamie bounced as he sat down on the piano bench. He said something but Jensen couldn’t hear him over the crowd. “Your mic isn’t on.” He crossed the stage and turned on Jamie’s mic. “What did you say, baby?”

“Please don’t call me baby in front of strangers, Daddy,” said Jamie. “I said I like skipping; it’s fun.”

“Good for you. You ready to play?” 

Jamie nodded and quickly played chopsticks. “Yep.” 

Jensen nodded to the conductor and they jumped into the playlist. Just like every other show it was fun and easy and not very organized. Jensen found that organization and children didn’t mix too well, planning never panned out. As it was they just played and sang. The crowd was hollering and cheering as they finished their last song and left the stage. Jamie was flagging and as they left the stage and Jensen turned off their mics Jamie burst into tears. Jensen picked him up and cuddled him close. “Baby, baby, baby, what’s the matter?” Jamie wrapped his arms around Jensen’s neck. Jensen rubbed his back. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t want the tour to be over. I don’t want to be done.” 

Jensen smiled at Jared and the other adults who were around. Mattie had fallen asleep on Michelle’s shoulder. Jensen rubbed Jamie’s back and said, “I know, I know. But it’s not the last time you’ll ever do a tour and we still have Carnegie Hall. That’s exciting right?”

“Yeah, but I want to play more pop.” Jamie cried into his neck.

“I know, we can play as much pop as you like at home. Oh, baby, sweetheart. You’re really tired. It’s all the strain and excitement.”

“I don’t wanna be done!” Jamie almost wailed. 

“I know, baby, I know. But guess what? We’re gonna see all our friends and sleep in our own real beds. That will be nice right?” Jamie nodded into his shirt. “You’ve been getting enough sleep but not at regular times. In the morning, this will be better, you need sleep and a cuddle.”

“I don’t want to go back on stage.” 

Jensen rocked him slightly and said, “You don’t need to, baby, you stay right here.” He gave Jared a look and the man instantly came over. “Jared’s gonna take you and have a cuddle while I go out again, okay?” Jamie nodded, clearly already half asleep. Jensen handed him off to Jared who instantly cuddled Jamie to his chest. 

“Hi, baby,” Jared kissed the top of his head. “Jen, ditch your jacket, it’s covered in snot and stage makeup.” 

Jensen looked down and said, “Ew, that looks gross. Okay.” Michelle held out her free hand. “Thank you.” He handed it off and headed back out, switching on his mic. “Okay, Jamie’s not coming back. He had a little bit of a meltdown backstage. Touring is emotional. He’s sad because we’re almost done with the tour, he’s happy because we’re going home and he gets to play with his friends and he’s tired. That all adds up to a meltdown. So he’s cuddling with Jay. He’s just done for the night. Being seven and on tour can be hard. As he isn’t here I’m scrapping our planned encore.” Walking to the edge of the stage he spoke to the orchestra, “You guys can book if you want. I’m going to play acoustic.” Then to the audience he said, “We’re going to take a walk down memory lane if that’s okay.” People cheered. “Y’know,” He set up a mic for his acoustic guitar and started to tune it, “When you’re teaching a child to play piano you go with classical music, either stuff you’ve written or old classical. And when you have friends like mine, well, they make fun of my teen idol years. So I haven’t really played any of my really old pop, the stuff from when I was a teen idol. Pop is fun. I like it. Do you like it?” They all screamed. “I’m gonna miss that.” He played the opening cords to his first big hit as a teen idol. People screamed again, recognizing the song. He sang it, shutting his eyes, just enjoying the feeling of being on stage in front of a cheering crowd. As he finished the screaming got louder. “One more and then I’m out y’all.” He played one more of his big hits, dancing as he played. As he was finishing Jared came out onto the stage, carrying Jamie who was in PJs and holding his lion. As he finished he said, “Hey, gorgeous, baby, what’s up?”

“Wanna say goodnight,” said Jamie but he was half asleep. He wasn’t mic’d and Jensen smiled as he pulled off his headset.

Speaking into it he said, “Say it again.”

“Goodnight, everyone,” said Jamie into Jensen’s headset. 

Jensen smiled and up the mic to Jared. “Goodnight,” said Jared smiling.

Holding the mic to his on mouth Jensen said, “Goodnight, y’all, get home safe.” They waved as they walked off stage. Jensen and Jared said goodbye to their friends quietly as both the children were asleep. Jensen said softly, “I’m going to get changed, I’ll see you in the bus.” He changed quickly and had his makeup taken off. He apologized to the wardrobe guy for the snot and makeup on his jacket but the guy said not to worry and that he could get it out easily. “Thank you, that’s awesome.” 

He walked through the stadium and out to the back where the bus was parked. Inside Jared smiled, “He’s out cold. Glass of wine?”

“Red,” said Jensen.

“Then would you fuck me stupid?”

“We can skip the wine.” Jensen leaned in and kissed Jared slowly. “Did you like coming on stage?”

“I like you on stage, love watching you all happy and bubbly. And I love that with all the lights, and fans, and everything else you never stop being Jen. None of it gets to you. You’re all celebrity glitz and then the minute he’s upset you’re just a daddy whose tux can be used as a tissue.” He slid his hands under Jensen’s tee-shirt. 

“Well, my real life is always more important. Poor Jamie, so tired. The concerts come second to my tearful seven year old.”

“He wouldn’t come first for everyone. That’s why I love you. I love the famous, bouncy exuberant you. I love the sarcastic, quiet funny you. I love the sexy you who puts out and makes me babble. And I love the Daddy who stays calm and cuddles babies when he’s wearing a tux and should be on the stage.”

“Life always comes first.”

“Are you tired?”

“Well, I’ll fuck you and we’ll see if I fall asleep on you.” 

“Wine?” 

Jensen leaned in to kiss him slowly. “Bring it to bed.” He grabbed glasses and headed up the stairs when Jared didn’t follow him he turned around and saw that Jared was watching his ass. “Are you gonna leer at my ass or come to bed?”

Jared grabbed the open bottle of wine from the counter and followed Jensen to the stairs. He gave Jensen’s ass and gave it a quick grope, “Is it really an either or situation?” Jensen moaned and speeded up the stairs. Jared laughed, staying right behind him and kissing his neck. “I love you, Jen, you know that right?”

“I know, love you too.” 

“I love our lives.” Jensen turned, walking backwards as they hit the landing. Jared grabbed his hips, pulling him close. They made out as they walked to the bedroom; both the dogs were trailing behind them. Jared pushed them away slightly shutting the door behind them. “I don’t like them watching.” 

“They’re perverts,” agreed Jensen pulling Jared’s shirt over his head. Jared unbuttoned Jensen’s jeans and dropped to his knees. He started to lick and suck Jensen to hardness and Jensen played with Jared’s hair.

“So pretty from this angle, God, so pretty. Jay, love your mouth all stretched and wrapped around me. You look so pretty when you’re mine.” He was hard and panting within minutes. “So talented, such a fantastic mouth. All that talking, it’s good exercise for this. Jesus, Jay, gotta stop you’re gonna finish this before it’s started. Please, Jay. Want you, so pretty.” 

Jared pulled away from him saying, “Fuck, you taste so good. It’s all the lights making you sweat over clean skin. You’re like a delicacy, so salty and good.” He kissed a path up Jensen’s body, pushing his tee shirt up. “Want you so bad. I want to get you moaning. I love hearing your voice that no one hears. So famous, and totally mine, love it when no one’s around and no one else gets you.” 

“I am yours.” 

“Awesome. Y’know who I am?” 

“Jared.” 

“Wrong, I’m your biggest groupie.”

“Do you put out?”

“Totally, for Jensen Ackles? I totally put out for that guy.” They kicked off their flip flops and striped out of their jeans. Jensen pulled off his own shirt and then pushed Jared to the bed. “Fuck I love it when you manhandle me.” 

Jensen stroked him hard and said, “How’s that for manhandling?”

Jared laughed, “Oh, God, Jen. That is the lamest thing that has ever come out of your mouth.”

“I once gave a kid with a fake leg a blow job. So, technically, he was the lamest thing to come out of my mouth.” 

Jared laughed, “Seriously?”

“He was a nice guy.” Jensen got the lube out of the bedside drawer. “It was during one of my slutty periods.” 

Jared laughed again but then Jensen started to stretch him and Jared groaned. Jensen leaned in to kiss him. “Jen, love, feels so good.” Jared stroked his nipples as Jensen tangled his free hand in Jared’s hair, loving the feel of the silky, soft strands. Jared nuzzled against him. “Jen, I never felt so close to anyone. You know that? I’ve never felt this close. I never thought I would have a family. I can’t wait to go home and have you and Jamie all to myself. I can’t wait for our girls to come.” 

“For a groupie you talk way too much about your feelings and not enough about how awesome I am.”

“Oh, fuck, that’s my prostate. You’re totally awesome, a god amongst men, oh Jen. So awesome, so amazing, most wonderful man on earth.” Jensen chuckled, “Please fuck me, please. I want you.” 

Jensen leaned over Jared and reached into the bedside drawer. He groped around in the drawer and swore. “Fuck. We’re out of condoms.”

“I don’t care about drip dry. Makes for easier clean up but I like the closeness. Do you? I mean, we can wait. I can make a run if you want, go buy some.”

“No, as long as you don’t mind dripping. You’re my partner.”

“It’s not groupie sex though.”

Jensen laughed, still finger fucking him, “You have to wrap it up if you fuck a fan, you don’t know where they’ve been.”

“Please, I’m ready, Jen.” 

“Yeah, yeah, you feel so good.”As he slid into Jared he kissed him slowly. “Beautiful, you’re so beautiful. You are amazing, Jay.” Jensen bit and licked his way into Jared’s mouth. Jay wrapped his legs around Jensen. 

Jared was rambling about the city and college and how much more fun it was with Jensen. They moved together, fast and hard, making each other moan. Jensen rubbed Jared into coming, Jared dug his heal into Jensen’s thigh, “Harder, c’mon, wanna feel you lose it. Harder, God, Jen, so good.” Jensen pounded into him and Jared moaned, “Yeah, like that uh-huh.” 

As Jensen came he slumped against Jared. Jensen kissed Jared slowly. He cuddled into Jared, “I can’t wait to do that to you in our bed.” They made out lazily, running their hands over each other’s bodies. They’d been kissing and groping for twenty minutes. Jensen was about to pull away and he said, “We should clean up.” 

But Jared held his hips and rolled against him, “Or, or, or,” said Jared. “We could go for round two.” Jensen moaned, feeling himself getting hard again. He was still inside of Jared and he started to move slowly. “Stay slow, please, all sweet and gentle like this.” So they moved against each other in slow writhing motions, sharing breath. Jared rambled softly, something about poached eggs which may or may not have been a metaphor about love. Jensen kissed him and ran his fingers over his chest. Jensen came with a soft exhale and stroked Jared through to completion. “When we’re old and saggy and vaguely gross looking will you still do awesome things to me in bed?”

“Even if I need Viagra to get it up,” Jensen promised. He looked at his watch, “God, it’s late. We need sleep. Carnegie Hall tonight.” He slowly detangled himself from Jared.

Jared climbed out of bed and said, “I’m going to go clean up. I’ll be right back to clean you up too.” 

Jensen allowed himself to doze. He wasn’t sure how long Jared was gone but then Jared was licking him and cleaning him with a warm, wet wash cloth. “Feels nice,” he mumbled. Jared started to put pants on him. “I’m almost asleep already.”

He didn’t open his eyes but he could hear the smile in Jared’s voice as he said, “Lift your hips for me, gorgeous.” Jensen did as he was told. “Open your eyes for me?” Jensen did and Jared quickly removed his contacts. Then time got away from him again but he felt the dogs climb up onto the bed and then he felt Jared settle in next to him and curl around him, pressing his chest to Jensen’s back. “I’m so glad I get to be your only groupie.” He kissed Jensen’s neck. “Go to sleep, Jen.” 

Then daylight was streaming in the windows. Jamie was cuddled up to his chest. Jared was sitting next to them, dressed and reading a cookbook with different colored pens in his hand. “Time is it?” 

“About noon,” Jared whispered.

Jensen reached for his glasses on the bedside table and saw that the glasses were still clean and the wine bottle was still corked. “We forgot about the wine.” Looking at how put together Jared was Jensen said, “You’ve been up for hours.”

“Yep, ran the dogs, took a shower, ate breakfast, called my parents and the restaurant, did some orders for the restaurant. Spoke to Sandy about the up coming shooting schedule. I need to come back in three weeks, just for the day. I’m doing Iron Chef.” 

“Awesome,” said Jensen. “I want coffee. When did you come back to bed?”

“After all my calls. Knew my boys were up here all cuddly.”

“Had to be quiet.”

“For hours,” whined Jared.

Jensen chuckled, he gently nudged Jamie, “Baby, it’s time to get up.”

“No,” said Jamie. 

Jensen smiled, “It’s twelve o’clock. Time to get up and have brunch.” Jamie struggled up. Jensen rubbed his back, “Big day, right?” Jamie nodded. “And why’s that?”

“Because we’re playing at Carnegie Hall,” Jamie’s voice was teasing.

“And?” said Jensen prompted. 

“Because every day is a big day.” 

“There we go,” Jensen picked him up. “Jay, you want to eat?” 

“Yeah, but for me it’s lunch.” 

Jensen didn’t get dressed and he didn’t dress Jamie. They stepped into flip flops and went down to craft which was set up in the hotel where the orchestra were staying. There was still breakfast food and Jensen knew that it was specifically for Jamie and him. Sometimes it was weird to be catered to so much but as it only happened on tour so he didn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. There were fresh scrambled eggs, and crunchy bacon, and non wheat toast and cold cucumber soup that was to die for good. As he woke up Jamie babbled about Carnegie Hall and how they were going home and asked if he’d fallen asleep on stage. 

“Almost,” said Jensen with a laugh. “You got into PJs while I was doing the encore.” 

“I don’t remember,” said Jamie.

“You came on to say goodnight on stage in your PJs. Mattie was already asleep so you didn’t miss anything.” 

They spent the afternoon quietly. Jamie did his summer reading list book, Jared went through a couple of cookbooks and Jensen tuned all of his instruments. He went upstairs to play the cello, practicing ‘As We Know Too Well’ but after his run through Jared called up the stairs. “We’ve stopped reading and are listening so you might as well come down here and impress us in person.” 

Jensen carried the cello down stairs and saw that even the dogs were watching him. “I haven’t played it in a long time, it’s going to be a little faltering at first.” 

“If that was faltering I can’t wait to hear it by the time you’re ready to go on stage tonight.” 

Jensen laughed and sat down. “Is that Mommy’s cello?” asked Jamie.

“I like Mommy’s more than I liked my old one. I sold mine after Mommy died. I wrote this song for her. I feel close to her playing her cello just like you feel close to her when you hug her lion and you talk to her through him.”

“I told her all about our tour, and Jared adopting me, and about the twins being girls and about how I wrote a concerto so we get to play at Carnegie Hall.”

“I bet she’s happy about that. I know she’d be really proud of you.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” Jensen went back to the cello, playing the song and then playing a couple of other songs just to loosen his fingers a little then went back to playing the etude. Jared was just watching him and Jensen said, “What?”

“Nothing, you’re amazing. My amazing boys, both of you. Jamie wrote a concerto and you play an incredibly complicated song after not playing the cello for ages. You’re amazing.” 

Jensen smiled and said, “And you are the biggest chef in Texas.” Jared laughed and Jensen went back to playing. 

“I want to learn the cello next,” said Jamie. 

“Really?” Jensen felt himself beaming. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. I like it more than the violin and the base and those are the ones I want to learn.” 

Jensen nodded, “Okay, well, you keep practicing your guitar and once that is solid we’ll add the cello.” 

“Can I practice the guitar now?”

“Sure, I’ve gotten this down.” He put the cello back in its case as Jamie ran to get his guitar. Jamie was getting wonderful on the guitar, so quickly, kids could learn a lot faster than adults. Jensen wanted to get Jamie going on all of his instruments before he turned twelve. To Jared he said, “Being a prodigy isn’t supposed to run in families. I mean, it was easy to find out he was good, at three and four he could play music fifteen year olds couldn’t have mastered in their wildest dreams but it’s not supposed to be genetic. And now, I mean, my God, he wrote a concerto all on his own. And he’s so eager to learn more. I’m just so grateful he’s our, y’know?” 

Jared nodded just as Jamie came back with his case. “I’m gonna do the contero on the guitar because I haven’t really played that bit much. And I know the notes without looking it’s just the actual playing.”

Jensen nodded, “That’s a great idea, baby.” He sat next to Jamie sometimes correcting his fingers slightly but mostly just listening. Jamie switched over to low country rock, playing Chris and Steve’s music. He really was mastering it, playing it adroitly. Jensen sang along with Jamie’s music. He was sad that they wouldn’t be singing tonight but Jamie was playing Carnegie Hall and that excitement was in the air. They played for the afternoon, warming their fingers up and they had a light dinner before heading to Carnegie Hall they were too excited to eat anything big and Jensen said, “If you’re still pumped after the concert we’ll have waffles with ice cream.” 

They were driven over to the Hall with their instruments in the evening for one last sound check, to get into their tuxes and to have their makeup done. Waiting for them there was a surprise: the Palickis, Annie and Chris were backstage. After tons of hugs and exclamations of “What are you doing here?” They calmed down a little.

Then something struck Jensen, “Chris, aren’t you on tour?”

“Yeah, whatever, it’s a small venue tonight. Steve can handle it. My boy is making his triumphant return to Carnegie Hall and my godson is making his debut. I wasn’t missing this for anything.”

Annie said, “Your parents wanted to be here but they didn’t want to leave so close to Mack’s due date.” 

“It’s fine, it’s cool you guys are here. It’s so cool.” Then he and Jamie were being herded to makeup and dressing while the others were still talking. Jamie left makeup first, going back to their family. Once they were done with Jensen’s face he said, “Can I have a few minutes? I just need to get my head together.” He was left alone and he breathed slowly a deeply. 

A couple of minutes later Jared came in, “Hey, babe, I just want to-”

“I miss my wife,” Jensen broke in. Jared crossed to him, hugging him tightly while avoiding smearing his makeup. “Chris’ comment about a triumphant return. The last time I was here I was playing with Tricia and Jamie was four, it was a few months before she died. And Jamie was talking about how badly he wanted to play and begging to come out on stage with us. Even then he was excited about being in Carnegie Hall. And Tricia said, ‘Someday, baby, it’s gonna be your show and we’re gonna be so proud.’ She should be here. I miss her. I don’t think of the twins as hers. They’re ours, she’s their mother but she’s not their mom. It’s different with him, the baby, he’s hers and she should be here.” Jared rubbed his back. “I miss her so much.” 

“Do you want to run away?” asked Jared without a joke in his voice. 

“No, I’ll get it together. I just needed a second.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No,” Jensen hugged him closer, “no, stay with me, just another second.” Jared rubbed his back. “Thank you.”

“I love you, Jen. I’ll give you as long as you want. But keep in mind that the curtain is supposed to go up in five minutes.”

Pulling back Jensen said, “Yeah, okay. Thank you.”

Jared slid his hand into Jensen’s, “Want to go get a few last hugs from your family?” 

“Yes please.” They went out together and spend the last couple of minutes talking about how amazing the tour had been and then, finally it was go time. “You good, baby?” Jamie was bouncing and nodding. They went out as the curtain rose to loud applause, no cheering or whistling, a different breed of audience. They played several of Jensen’s classical pieces and Jamie’s rearrangements. Jensen’s favorite was a rearrangement of one of Jensen’s concertos. Everything was rearranged, pace and rhythm everything but the strings had been cut out but the violin had been left alone completely. So while Jamie and the string section played something only almost recognizable as his Jensen himself was playing his own work. He lost himself in the music, enjoying it as he played. As it finished he caught Jamie’s eye and mouthed, “Beautiful.” Jamie beamed at him and then skipped off the stage as it was time for Jensen’s etude. Jensen knew that boys stopped skipping between the ages of eight and nine and he wasn’t looking forward to when Jamie stopped. 

There had been a lot of talk since the beginning of the tour in the entertainment news about the fact that the cello had been on stage at every show and yet Jensen had never played it. People wanted to know if Jensen had any intention of playing it or if it was an homage to Tricia. Now there was a collective breath in the Hall as he picked the cello up off its stand. He moved to his chair and took a deep breath. The conductor had asked Jensen if he’s wanted visual cues but Jensen said no because he never played the cello with his eyes open. He allowed himself to relax into it, not thinking, just playing it and enjoying the feel of playing. As he finished the applause was deafening. He smiled at the audience as he finished. The curtain came down for the intermission. Jensen walked back stage and saw that his family had bite sized sandwiches and cupcakes. 

As he ate a sandwich he said, “I promised Jamie an ice cream waffle sundae after the show. But with all the grownups we should pick up a bottle of champagne.” 

“May I still have the ice cream?” asked Jamie around a sandwich.

“Of course you may,” said Jensen. “Are you having fun? You look like you’re having fun.” 

“I’m having so much fun, Daddy. Are you?”

“I love it. I’ve always loved this Hall.” Jensen had another couple of sandwiches. Then they were being they told had four minutes and needed to have their makeup touched up. The lights weren’t as harsh as a lot of the places they’d been but Jamie still wanted to change his shirt then Jensen redid his tie. “Ready, baby?” Jamie nodded. “You excited to play your concerto?”

Jamie bounced his way onto the stage, “That comes last.” 

“Yeah, because it’s a show stopper.” Jamie laughed as he sat down on the bench. He smiled at Jensen and started to play Middle American Saturday Night. Jensen put his finger to his lip. He heard the music ring out, “Baby, the piano is mic’ed.” 

Jamie was laughing as the curtain went up. He kneeled on the bench to speak into the piano’s mic and said, “Sorry, I forgot that the piano was mic’ed. I’m having a really good time. I was just playing some happy pop but this concert’s not for pop it’s for happy classical music.” Jensen started to laugh too the audience was laughing too. 

Jamie sat back down to play. He played the opening notes to one of Jensen’s capricci. Jensen joined him on the viola which was the star of the piece the orchestra joined two beats after him. As they finished he looked at Jamie. It was go time. He put down the viola and picked up his violin.

Just before he started he gave Jensen a thumbs up and then he started to play his concerto. Jensen was so entranced that he nearly missed his cue. He glanced over and saw that Jared was watching them with a huge smile. Chris had an arm around Annie and his parents in law looked proud. He focused on the music again, sinking into it. He thought his heart might explode with how proud he was of Jamie and how good it felt to be back in the Hall. There had been so much hype around the concert that it had sold out in under an hour. The main hype had been for Jamie’s concerto. Jensen would never set Jamie up for disappointment or embarrassment, it was a beautiful song. He looked at Jamie but Jamie had his eyes shut, also enjoying the music. 

As they finished the crowd clapped raucously. There wasn’t anything restrained about it. They were on their feet, clapping. He smiled, and crossing to Jamie, he leaned down and whispered, “That is what is known as a standing ovation. Enjoy it, baby, it’s all yours.” Jamie turned smiling and hugged Jensen tightly. “Come take your bow, baby. You deserve it.”

Jamie jumped off the bench. He took Jensen’s hand as they bowed and then they both waved to the audience. Leaning into the mic that was set up at the level for his violin. “Thank you very much, get home safe everyone.” They were still clapping loudly. “Goodnight.” Jensen had never done an encore for a classical show and he had no intention of starting now. 

As they walked off the stage they were both hugged by their family. The curtain came down and the clapping went on. Bobby came over and said, “Take another bow: let them know it’s over.”

So Jensen and Jamie went back out to take one last bow. Going backstage Jensen said, “So sundaes and champagne?” 

“Yes!” said Annie, “I would love a sundae.” 

Jensen smiled, “Fantastic, Bobby, do you want to come? We’re having champagne and ice-cream.”

“I’m going to cry off,” said Bobby. “I already arranged your rooms,” he said to the Palickis and Annie. “Chris, you’re staying on the bus, right?” 

“You knew about this?” asked Jensen.

Bobby rolled his eyes. “I’m the tour manager it’s my job to know about, and facilitate, all sorts of things you don’t know about.”

“Thank you, Bobby, seriously. You really are the best tour manager ever.”

“You’re flight is at ten tomorrow morning. Don’t party too hard.”

“We won’t.”

“See you tomorrow, then.”

“Good night, Bobby,” Jamie said.

“Congrats, Jamie, the concerto is beautiful. And you were both fantastic.”

“Thanks, Bobby.”

“There is a stretched waiting for you once you guys get out of your tuxes.”

Jensen smiled, “C’mon, Jamie, let’s get you out of the suit.” 

~~~

Jared watched them walking away. Nancy put her hand on his arm and he turned to her with a smile. She was smiling too but slightly less brightly. “Would you wait with me in the limo?” 

He nodded, “Of course.” 

They walked together out to the car. Jared was still smiling, couldn’t help it: his boys were amazing. As they got into the limo Nancy said, “I wasn’t sure about you when you first landed on the scene.”

“Oh,” said Jared, not sure how to respond. 

“Handsome, young, famous, blithe and hanging around my sad son-in-law and my very impressionable grandson. They both had such huge crushes on you and Jensen, he was a mess for so long after Tricia died. It seemed like it was doomed from the start. Then the first time I actually meet you is in the hospital with Jamie in a coma. It wasn’t your fault at all but I thought that it was a sign that things were going to end badly. And now here we are over a year later and you’ve adopted Jamie and the girls.” 

Jared nodded and said, “I would never purposefully hurt them: I love them. And I’m not trying to steal them away from Tricia.”

She reached out and took his hand, “Oh no, Jared, that’s not what I’m saying at all. I’m apologizing for thinking so little of you. I’m thanking you for giving Jen and Jamie a family. You can’t take from the dead. I grieved for my daughter. I wouldn’t want my boys to spend the rest of their lives missing her. Tricia wouldn’t want it either. You love them so much anyone can tell that just by watching you watching them. And they adore you. I can’t wait to see you with your babies.”

“I am so excited.”

“Me too, I want Annie to give me three more.” 

“You want six?”

“Donna’s about to have six.”

“Donna had three kids.”

“True,” she agreed. Then the door opened and Jamie climbed in, still smiling and bouncing. Jensen and the others climbed in behind him.

He lunged at Jared. “Jared, Jared, Jared. I got to play Carnegie Hall. Wasn’t that cool?” 

Jared pulled him onto his lap, kissing his cheek. “It was so cool. You’re concerto was the coolest bit, hearing with the whole orchestra in that huge hall with all those people watching. It was amazing. It’s a beautiful song. Are you proud of yourself?”

“Yeah, it’s a pretty great song, right?”

“It’s beautiful, baby,” He cuddled Jamie close. But as the limo pulled away from the curb he put Jamie down next to him, “Seatbelt.”

Jensen was smiling and said, “I’m buzzing. Champagne and waffle sundaes?”

“Yeah!” said Jamie bouncing again. 

“Good tour?” asked Jared.

“Best ever,” said Jamie and Jensen in unison.


End file.
